Masturbation in children causes ages and how to deal with it safely

The topic of young children and infants engaging in masturbation often makes many parents anxious and unsure. The truth is, a child touching their genitals is sometimes a normal behavior and part of their natural curiosity as they explore their own body. However, it can become concerning if it persists excessively or causes the child pain or discomfort.In this Dalili Medical article, we will discuss the causes of masturbation in young children and infants, its stages, types, and signs, as well as provide practical tips for parents on how to handle it safely and healthily. You’ll find all the information simple and clear, helping you understand the behavior and protect your child without stress or fear.

Is Masturbation in Children Normal?

Yes, sometimes young children touching their genitals is a natural form of curiosity as they explore their own bodies.

When Does Masturbation Start in Children?

It may appear as early as infancy or the first year of life, and usually involves simple touching or rubbing without a full sexual understanding.

Is Masturbation in Children Dangerous?

In most cases, no, as long as it does not cause pain, injury, or affect the child’s daily behavior or development.

Should I Punish the Child?

No. Punishment can increase anxiety and shame. It’s better to gently guide the child and encourage alternative play and activities.

How Can I Tell the Difference Between Normal Curiosity and Concerning Behavior?

The behavior may be concerning if:

It continues excessively, preventing the child from playing or interacting.
It causes pain or injury.
It appears in older children in problematic ways, or after exposure to inappropriate sexual situations.

Does the Child Understand What They Are Doing?

No. Most young children and infants do not associate the behavior with sexual pleasure; it is simply curiosity and body exploration.

How Can I Stop the Behavior Safely?

Keep the child busy with play and physical activities.
Teach the child the proper names of body parts in a respectful way.
Supervise private spaces and guide the child to appropriate areas for sleeping or playing.

Is Masturbation Linked to Psychological Problems?

Rarely. It may be associated with severe stress, trauma, or neglect, but in most children, the behavior stops naturally as they grow.

Does the Child Need to See a Doctor?

Most children do not require medical intervention unless the behavior is excessive, causes harm, or is associated with other concerning signs.

When Does Masturbation Start in Children?

It may appear as early as infancy or the first year of life, usually involving simple touching or rubbing without full sexual understanding.

Is Masturbation in Children Dangerous?

In most cases, no, as long as it does not cause pain, injury, or affect the child’s daily behavior or development.

Should I Punish the Child?

No. Punishment can increase anxiety and shame. It’s better to gently guide the child and encourage alternative play and activities.

How Can I Tell the Difference Between Normal Curiosity and Concerning Behavior?

The behavior may be concerning if:

It continues excessively, preventing the child from playing or interacting.
It causes pain or injury.
It appears in older children in problematic ways or after exposure to inappropriate sexual situations.

Does the Child Understand What They Are Doing?

No. Most young children and infants do not associate the behavior with sexual pleasure; it is simply curiosity and body exploration.

How Can I Stop the Behavior Safely?

Keep the child busy with play and physical activities.
Teach the child the proper names of body parts in a respectful way.
Supervise private spaces and guide the child to appropriate areas for sleeping or playing.

Is Masturbation Linked to Psychological Problems?

Rarely. It may be associated with severe stress, trauma, or neglect, but in most children, the behavior stops naturally as they grow.

Does the Child Need to See a Doctor?

Consult a doctor if the behavior:

Is excessive and affects daily life.
Is accompanied by physical pain or injury.
Causes significant concern for the parents.

How Long Does Masturbation Last in Children?

Once a child discovers masturbation, it rarely stops completely, but the frequency may decrease if their stress or discomfort is addressed.

By age 5 or 6, children usually learn discretion and may masturbate privately.
Masturbation becomes more common during puberty, due to hormonal changes and increased sexual drive.

What Is Masturbation in Children?

Masturbation in children is self-stimulation of the genitals to feel comfort or pleasure.

Children usually rub their genitals with their hands or objects.
Often, it is more than just exploring the body, especially around age two during bath time.
While masturbating, children may appear completely focused, and their faces may become flushed.
Frequency varies: sometimes several times a day, sometimes once a week.
Desire usually increases with:
- Feeling sleepy or bored
- Watching TV
- Experiencing stress or tension

How Do Children Masturbate?

Children usually begin exploring their genitals around age two, noticing that touching this area feels pleasant, without understanding its sexual nature.

Children may masturbate by:
- Directly touching their genitals
- Rubbing sensitive areas with toys, pillows, cushions, or furniture
- Imitating behaviors they observe around them
With age, overt public masturbation decreases, becoming private around age 5 or 6.

Types of Masturbation in Young Children and Infants

Masturbation is usually a normal exploratory behavior and can be divided by age:

1. Simple Self-Touching (Self-Touching)

Age: Infants up to around 2 years
Description: The child touches or stimulates their genitals without sexual awareness, sometimes linked to comfort or sleep
Sign: Occurs during play or before bedtime, without clear sexual intention

Types of Masturbation in Young Children and Infants

1. Rubbing or Pressure (Rubbing/Pressure)

Age: 1–3 years
Description: The child presses their genitals against pillows, the floor, or objects to feel comfort.
Note: This is more of an exploratory behavior than a sexual one, though it may repeat.

2. Sucking or Oral Stimulation (Sucking/Oral Stimulation)

Age: Infants 0–12 months
Description: Some children suck their fingers or clothes in a way that stimulates the genital area, often during sleep or when upset.

3. Early Sexual Play (Early Sexual Play)

Age: Around 3–5 years
Description: The child begins deeper exploration of their own or sometimes others’ genitals (e.g., imitating adults).
Note: Requires supervision and guidance to teach safe body boundaries.

4. Compulsive or Excessive Behavior (Compulsive Behavior)

Age: Any age, more concerning if persistent or frequent
Description: Touching or masturbation so frequent that it affects sleep, play, or learning.
Solution: Often requires medical evaluation or consultation with a child psychologist.

Why Do Children Masturbate?

Parents often ask why children engage in genital stimulation before puberty. Here are the main reasons:

Normal behavior and body exploration
- Masturbation is often part of natural curiosity and body discovery.
- It is not dangerous or abnormal unless it is excessive or public after age six.
No direct health problems
- There are no medical causes such as itching, redness, or genital issues.
- Any medical conditions should be ruled out before interpreting the behavior as masturbation.
Soothing and comforting
- Children may masturbate when feeling stressed or anxious, similar to teenagers and adults.
- Provides temporary relief and comfort.
Learning from the environment
- Children may imitate peers or media, associating masturbation with early sexual content.
Influence of family behaviors (rare)
- Some parental practices, even if well-intentioned, may unintentionally reinforce the behavior.
- Historical example: Freud mentioned mothers occasionally touching infants to soothe them—today, this is discouraged.
Indicator of potential abuse (rare)
- Early or unusual sexual behaviors may rarely indicate sexual abuse or exposure.

Important Notes for Parents

Most children masturbate out of curiosity or for comfort.
Intervention is required only if the behavior is excessive, harmful, or occurs in inappropriate places.
Medical or psychological consultation is necessary if abuse is suspected or behavior is compulsive.

Signs a Child is Masturbating

Clear or repeated behaviors
- Frequent genital touching, especially when unsupervised.
- Seeking private spaces to sit or play.
- Using toys or objects in ways resembling sexual stimulation.
Mood or emotional changes
- Irritability or upset if prevented from touching themselves.
- Anxiety or social withdrawal due to shame.
Early sexual curiosity
- Frequent questions about the body, genitals, or sex.
- Imitating sexual behaviors during play or observation.
Minor physical changes
- Temporary redness or sensitivity of the genital area (rare).
- Occasional scratches or friction marks from repeated touching.

When Is Masturbation in Children Concerning?

It becomes a problem if any of the following occur:

Excessive practice
- Hours-long genital touching daily.
- Inability to stop even when prevented.
- Interference with study, play, sleep, or social interaction.
Self-harming behavior
- Scratches, wounds, redness, or bleeding from excessive touching.
- Use of objects that may cause injury.
Inappropriate sexual behavior
- Imitating sexual behaviors beyond the child’s age.
- Engaging with other children or animals in sexualized ways.
Psychological or emotional signs
- High anxiety or tension related to masturbation.
- Withdrawal, low self-confidence, or excessive shame.
- Loss of interest in normal play or activities.
Signs of abuse
- Excessive or inappropriate sexual behavior may sometimes indicate sexual abuse or neglect.
- Watch for unusual physical or behavioral signs and consult a specialist immediately.

Stages of Masturbation in Young Children and Infants

1. Infancy and Early Exploration (0–12 months)

Infants touch their bodies and genitals without sexual awareness, often for comfort or curiosity.
Common behaviors:
- Touching genitals during sleep.
- Sucking fingers or clothing.
- Responding to gentle touch on the pelvis or abdomen.
Note: Completely normal unless the behavior causes harm.

2. Body Exploration (1–3 years)

The child becomes more aware of their body and explores it through touching, part of normal curiosity.
Common behaviors:
- Pressing or rubbing genitals on pillows or floor.
- Touching during play or when stressed.
Note: Temporary and usually decreases with age. Gentle guidance and teaching boundaries are recommended.

3. Early Sexual Curiosity (3–5 years)

The child starts associating touching with physical pleasure, and curiosity about their own and others’ bodies increases.
Common behaviors:
- Touching genitals in front of others.
- Imitating adult behaviors or showing curiosity about other people’s bodies.
Note: Important to teach privacy and body boundaries calmly and clearly.

4. Excessive or Compulsive Behavior (Any age, often after 3 years)

The behavior is repeated to the extent it affects sleep, play, or learning.
Common behaviors:
- Constant touching or masturbation, even during the day.
- Loss of focus in daily activities due to the need to masturbate.
Note: Requires evaluation by a pediatrician or child psychologist to determine causes and plan reduction.

How to Reduce Masturbation in Children

Eliminating masturbation is not about punishment, as sexual curiosity is part of normal growth. It requires awareness, patience, and proper guidance, especially if the behavior is excessive or self-harming.

Practical steps:

Understand the behavior
- Recognize that sexual curiosity is normal and developmental.
- Excessive behavior may result from boredom, stress, anxiety, or poor self-control.
Promote alternative activities
- Encourage physical activities: sports, group play, riding a bike.
- Engage the child with hobbies or educational games to reduce boredom.
Teach privacy
- Explain that touching genitals should be done in private, and the body is something respectful and valuable.
- Use age-appropriate language to talk about the body and privacy.
Set gentle boundaries
- If excessive behavior occurs, redirect the child to another activity without punishment.
- Avoid yelling or shaming, which may increase anxiety and worsen the behavior.
Monitor feelings and stress
- Children may masturbate due to stress or emotional tension.
- Encourage expression through talking, drawing, or play.
Watch for warning signs
- Injury, extreme repetition, or inappropriate sexual behaviors are red flags.
- Consult a child psychologist or pediatrician in such cases.

7. Boosting Self-Confidence

Praise the child for their achievements and hobbies.
Focus on positive skills and behaviors rather than only on masturbation.

When Does a Child Need to See a Doctor?

A child should visit a pediatrician or specialist in the following cases:

Excessive or persistent behavior
- Frequent touching affecting daily life, sleep, or school performance.
Behavior in public places
- Touching genitals at school or in front of others.
Physical symptoms
- Skin rash, redness, infections, or injuries from repeated touching.
Signs of anxiety or psychological disturbance
- Stress, strong emotional reactions, fear, or aggressive behavior linked to masturbation.
Very early sexual behavior
- Imitating complex or aggressive sexual acts with others before an appropriate age.
Sudden behavioral changes
- Withdrawal from play or school, or loss of interest in normal activities due to sexual behavior.

Treatment of Masturbation in Children

Masturbation in children is usually a normal and developmental behavior, and the main treatment is behavioral guidance, while medication is rarely needed and limited to very specific cases.

1. Medication

Important notes:

Not the first choice: Most children improve with behavioral guidance and alternative activities.
Medication is used only if caused by:
- Severe neurological or behavioral disorders.
- Anxiety or hyperactivity leading to repetitive or harmful behaviors.
- Rare psychiatric or neurological conditions needing drug intervention.

Types of medications (prescribed only by a specialist):

Anti-anxiety or ADHD medications (e.g., certain SSRIs or ADHD drugs).
Medications to modify specific behaviors only if the harm is significant to the child or family.

Importance of medical supervision:

Any medication requires careful monitoring for side effects, especially in young children.

2. Exercise and Physical Behavioral Therapy

Physical exercises help redirect energy and improve behavioral control, and are safe and natural for children.

Steps for behavioral therapy through exercises:

Increase overall physical activity
- Daily exercise: running, jumping, playing in the park, swimming.
- Reduces boredom and excess energy that may lead to masturbation.
Focus and attention exercises
- Activities requiring focus: building blocks, puzzles, or brain games.
- Improves attention and helps the child control curiosity.
Relaxation and breathing exercises
- Teach deep breathing when feeling bored or stressed.
- Simple relaxation exercises before bedtime reduce genital play urges.
Redirect behavior toward positive energy
- Offer alternative activities whenever the behavior starts: drawing, clay play, short physical activity.
- Keeping hands and mind busy reduces focus on masturbation.
Organize daily routine
- Ensure sufficient sleep, playtime, and quiet individual activity time.
- A structured routine reduces anxiety and boredom, which can trigger early sexual behavior.