Marriage is not only for men When is it permissible for a woman to ask for it
We often hear that the right to divorce (the "iṣma") is solely in the hands of the man, and that he alone has the authority to make the decision of divorce in marriage. But have you ever wondered: Can a woman request to have the right of divorce? And is this allowed in Islam? This question sparks wide debate, especially with the changing social roles and the increasing awareness of women's rights. In this article, we will clearly explain the legal ruling, and explore the cases in which it is permissible for a woman to have the right of divorce, as well as the potential benefits that may come from it. Keep reading to learn the full truth without complication!
Conditions for a Woman Holding the Right of Divorce (ʿiṣma) in Islam
While in Islam divorce is typically in the hands of the man, scholars have clarified that a woman can request to hold the right of divorce if both parties agree at the time of the marriage contract. This means the husband must explicitly approve this condition when the contract is made.
In such cases, the wife can legally and religiously end the marriage without needing her husband's permission—not by telling him “I divorce you,” but by exercising the agreed-upon right to initiate divorce.
For example, if she wants to end the marriage, she can go to the Islamic registrar (ma’dhoun) with the contract that states she holds the ʿiṣma and request the divorce. The husband cannot object, as he agreed to this condition from the start.
Why Do Some Women Request to Hold the ʿiṣma?
With societal development and growing awareness of women's rights, some women choose to hold the right of divorce for several important reasons:
1. Abandonment or Disappearance
Some husbands leave their wives—whether due to legal issues, work, or infidelity—and disappear for years. The wife is left in a dead marriage, unable to move on. Holding the ʿiṣma gives her a way out.
2. Abuse of Divorce Power
Some men misuse their authority by refusing to grant a divorce or by placing harsh conditions. In such cases, the ʿiṣma protects the wife from being trapped in a toxic relationship.
3. Extraordinary Circumstances
War, natural disasters, or forced separation may cause couples to lose contact. A man might remarry and move on, but the woman cannot without a divorce. Holding the ʿiṣma gives her the freedom to make decisions if abandoned.
4. Support for Female Independence
In today’s world, women work, contribute financially, and share household responsibilities. Many seek equality—including the right to end the relationship if it becomes harmful, just like men.
How Can a Woman Obtain the ʿiṣma? Does It Cancel the Husband’s Right?
Many people misunderstand the concept. Some think that if the wife has the ʿiṣma, the husband loses his right to divorce. This is not true. By Islamic law, the right originally belongs to the husband—but he can delegate it to his wife. This is called tafwīḍ.
How Can the Husband Grant This Right?
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It must be a mutual agreement.
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The husband can include it in the marriage contract or in a separate notarized document.
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It should be clear, witnessed, and provable in court if needed.
How Does a Woman Use the ʿiṣma to Divorce?
She does not say “You’re divorced,” because she’s not divorcing him—she’s divorcing herself from him. She might say: “I divorce myself from you.”
Depending on the agreement, this right may allow:
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One-time use only (one divorce),
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Full authority to end the marriage,
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Or limited use under specific conditions (like betrayal or abuse).
Does the Husband Lose His Right to Divorce?
No. Even if the wife holds the ʿiṣma, the husband still retains his original right to divorce. He’s only sharing the authority—not giving it up.
Can the Husband Take Back the ʿiṣma?
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If the delegation is written into the marriage contract or documented officially, he cannot revoke it unless the contract is dissolved and rewritten.
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If it’s a one-time right and the wife uses it, then the ʿiṣma returns to the husband.
Benefits of the ʿiṣma Being with the Wife
Having the ʿiṣma is not just a protection—it's a step toward a more balanced and respectful marriage. Here are 20 key benefits:
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Protection from injustice and abuse
She can act immediately if the relationship becomes harmful. -
Freedom and independence in decision-making
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More balance in the relationship
It prevents one partner from using divorce as a threat. -
Encourages problem-solving
Knowing either party can end the marriage fosters mutual respect. -
More thoughtful marriages
Both parties take the decision more seriously from the start. -
A solution in complex cases
Like imprisonment or long-term absence. -
Emotional security
Knowing she’s not stuck in a harmful situation. -
Stops threats of divorce
The husband can’t constantly use it as a weapon. -
Encourages communication
Promotes dialogue over dominance. -
Awareness of women’s rights
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Practical resolution for disappearance or refusal to divorce
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Empowers independent women
Especially those who are financially or socially active. -
Protects children from toxic environments
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Promotes equality in decision-making
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Reduces emotional manipulation
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Challenges outdated gender norms
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Boosts self-confidence
Taking responsibility for such a decision builds inner strength. -
Fairness in cases of injustice
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Earns more respect from the husband
He knows she can leave if disrespected. -
Gives women a voice
She's not a passive observer in her own life.
How Can a Woman Divorce Her Husband in Islam?
Divorce in Islam isn't something desirable, but sometimes it’s the only way out — a form of mercy from God for those trapped in unbearable situations. Marriage can sometimes turn into a nightmare full of emotional pressure, betrayal, or abuse. In such cases, divorce becomes the only escape.
Since divorce is usually in the hands of the husband, many women find themselves helpless — especially if the husband is absent or refuses to initiate divorce. That’s why some women look for legal and religious ways to end the marriage. Here are the main ways a woman can divorce her husband in Islam:
1. Khul‘ (خلع)
Khul‘ is when a woman requests a divorce in exchange for giving up her financial rights (like the deferred dowry or mahr). The religious court reviews her request and decides if her reason is valid and justified.
Note: Scholars differ on whether khul‘ counts as one of the three divorces or not.
2. Annulment of the Marriage Contract
If there’s a legal or religious flaw in the marriage contract (like the absence of witnesses or deceit in information), the wife can file for annulment. The court will investigate the case to see if the marriage was invalid from the beginning. If so, the contract is annulled.
In future marriages, the woman can also ask to have the right of divorce (tafwid al-talaq) written in the new marriage contract to protect herself.
3. ⚖️ Judicial Separation (Tafriq Qada’i)
In cases of harm or serious issues, a woman can go to court and request a judicial separation without needing her husband’s approval.
This can happen if the husband:
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Beats or insults her
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Fails to provide for her or the children
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Abandons her without reason
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Is imprisoned or financially incapable of maintaining the marriage
The court evaluates the evidence, and if the harm is proven, it grants the divorce without the husband's consent.
4. ✍️ Having the Right of Divorce in Her Hands from the Beginning
If the husband agrees to give his wife the right to divorce herself (known as tafwid al-talaq) when writing the marriage contract, she can divorce herself legally and religiously without going back to him — based on the agreement in the contract.
This is one of the most empowering ways for a woman to have control and dignity in her marriage, especially in cases where the husband refuses to divorce or harsh conditions arise.