Relatives or strangers Why is sexual abuse by relatives more dangerous for children

"Child sexual abuse is one of the most horrific crimes that can happen in a child's life. Unfortunately, this crime takes many forms, and the most shocking of them is abuse committed by relatives. While societies often focus on the danger posed by strangers, research and studies have proven that relatives are actually the greater threat to children.
This harsh reality reveals just how deeply rooted the danger is within the family itself.
In this Dailly Medical article, we will explore why relatives are considered the most dangerous abusers, the psychological and physical risks children face as a result of such abuse, and the devastating impact these crimes have on the child, the family, and society. We will also discuss how we can protect our children from this hidden threat."

Types of Sexual Abuse of Children by Relatives:

Physical Abuse
This involves touching sensitive parts of the child's body, either directly or over clothing. It sometimes occurs under the guise of "playing" or "joking." This type is considered one of the most dangerous because it destroys the child's sense of security in their home among family members.

Verbal Abuse
This includes explicit sexual language or inappropriate suggestions about the child's body or behavior. Although this type doesn't involve physical touching, it significantly affects the child's psychological well-being.

Sexual Exploitation
This involves forcing the child to watch pornographic images or videos or photographing them in inappropriate positions. In some cases, the child might be coerced into performing sexual acts. This type of abuse is often secretive and not easily detected.

Complete Sexual Abuse
This involves forcing the child to engage in actual sexual intercourse, whether through coercion or manipulation. It's a serious crime that causes devastating psychological and physical effects on the child.

Exploitation Under Threat
The relative uses threats to silence the child, whether by threatening to expose them, harm them, or harm someone they love. This creates an atmosphere of intense fear that keeps the child silent.

Sexual Exploitation Through "Playful Touching"
In this type, the relative might encourage the child to engage in inappropriate touching or unhealthy play, like body massages. This behavior is usually presented as "fun" or "body exploration," which leads to confusion in the child's understanding of healthy relationships with their body.

Overlooking Inappropriate Actions Under the Pretext of "Protection"
Some relatives justify physical abuse by claiming they are "protecting" the child, such as during bathing or changing clothes. This type of abuse claims the actions are natural, leaving the child confused and in internal conflict.

Psychological Pressure to Keep Quiet
In this type, the abuser exerts intense psychological pressure on the child, threatening consequences if they reveal what's happening. This pressure creates deep fear and terror in the child’s heart.

Abuse During Travel or Trips
Sometimes, abuse happens in new places or during travel, such as family trips or vacations. These places create an atmosphere of insecurity for the child, making them unable to escape or defend themselves.

Exploitation of the Child's Emotional Needs
If the child feels a need for love and attention, the relative may emotionally exploit this. In this case, the abuser tries to make the child feel important by offering "special gifts" or false promises, with an emphasis on not telling anyone what is happening.

Complete Disregard for the Child's Personal Rights
Some relatives believe they have the right to enter the child’s private spaces, such as their room or clothing, without respecting their boundaries. This violation of the child's privacy makes them feel their rights are not respected.

Abuse During Deep Sleep
Sexual abuse may occur while the child is in deep sleep, especially if they sleep next to the relative or in the same room. In this situation, the child is unable to defend themselves.

Playing with Sexual Toys with Children
In some cases, certain relatives may use sexual toys or inappropriate items to encourage the child to engage in unnatural sexual behaviors. The child may be forced to imitate these behaviors or have them imposed on them.

Convincing the Child to Try Inappropriate Sexual Acts
In this type, the abuser tries to convince the child that they need to experiment with certain sexual acts. These attempts are exaggerated and completely inappropriate for the child’s age.

Using Children as a Means of Revenge or Control
Some relatives use sexual abuse as a tool to get revenge on another family member or to control the child. This behavior aims to gain power over the child or harm another family member.

Reasons for Sexual Abuse of Children by Relatives

Sexual abuse of children by relatives is one of the most dangerous crimes that deeply affect the child’s psyche, leaving scars that are difficult to heal even with time. Unfortunately, this type of abuse is one of the hardest to detect due to the close relationship between the child and the perpetrator, and the trust that the parents place in them. Here are some of the reasons that may lead to this type of abuse:

Psychological Disorders in the Relative
Some relatives may suffer from psychological or sexual disorders such as "pedophilia" (sexual attraction to children), which causes them to see the child as a means to satisfy their deviant desires.
Emotional or Sexual Deprivation
In some cases, the abusing relative may be suffering from emotional or sexual deprivation. Instead of seeking healthy solutions, they resort to the child as an easy victim to fulfill their desires.
Easy Access to the Child
Since the perpetrator is a family member, they are often present at the house or visit frequently, providing them with the opportunity to be alone with the child away from the parents’ supervision.
Excessive Trust of Parents
The blind trust that parents place in their relatives may lead them to leave their children with them for long periods without monitoring, which provides the perpetrator with the opportunity to commit the crime without anyone noticing.
Lack of Sexual Education
Often, parents avoid talking to their children about the difference between safe and harmful touches, leaving the child unable to distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. As a result, the child may not know how to confront or report what is happening to them.
Fear of Scandal
Some abusing relatives believe that the child will be afraid to talk about the abuse due to the fear of scandal or the parents' reaction. This gives them a sense of security, encouraging them to continue the crime.
Weak Family Supervision
Excessive parental distraction or the absence of one parent can make it easier for the perpetrator to commit the crime without anyone noticing, increasing the risk of child abuse.

Signs of Sexual Abuse in Children

Sexual abuse of children by relatives can sometimes be obvious, but at other times, it can be extremely hidden. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to be vigilant about any changes in the child's behavior or body. Here are the most prominent signs that may indicate a child has been sexually abused:

Physical Signs:

Pain or Swelling in Sensitive Areas
The child may experience pain or swelling in the genital area or other sensitive parts of the body.
Difficulty Walking or Sitting
The child may have trouble moving or sitting normally due to pain or injuries resulting from the abuse.
Unexplained Bruises or Scratches
Bruises or scratch marks may appear in various parts of the body without an obvious cause.
Abnormal Bleeding or Discharges
The child may experience abnormal bleeding or discharge from the genital area.
Frequent Urinary Tract or Vaginal Infections
There may be recurring infections in the genital area or problems with urination.

Psychological and Behavioral Signs:

Fear or Panic Around a Specific Person
The child may show an irrational fear of a particular person, especially if the perpetrator is a relative.
Isolation or Withdrawal
The child may shift from being social to withdrawing from others and isolating themselves.
Increased Crying or Outbursts of Anger
Parents may notice an increase in the child's crying or episodes of anger without a clear reason.
Frequent Nightmares or Sleep Problems
The child may experience sleep disturbances or recurrent disturbing nightmares.
Sudden Reluctance to Visit a Relative’s Home
The child may resist going to a relative's home or spending time with them.
Loss of Self-Confidence
Parents might observe that the child begins to feel embarrassed or guilty without any clear cause.
Inappropriate Sexual Behavior for Their Age
The child may start displaying inappropriate sexual behaviors or talking about sex in an abnormal way.

Changes in School and Eating Behavior:

Sudden Drop in Academic Performance
The child may experience a decline in academic performance due to the impact of the abuse on their concentration and attention.
Loss of Appetite or Overeating
The child may either lose their appetite or start overeating.
Involuntary Urination
Involuntary urination may occur, especially if the child has already been potty trained.

Psychological and Emotional Effects of Sexual Abuse on Children

Feelings of Guilt and Shame
The child may feel guilt or shame due to threats made by the perpetrator, such as “If you tell anyone, something bad will happen,” leading the child to believe they are responsible for the abuse.

Loss of Trust in Others
Sexual abuse by a relative causes the child to lose trust in people who are supposed to be sources of safety and security. The child feels betrayed, especially if the perpetrator is a close family member.

Problems in Future Relationships
The child may struggle to build healthy relationships in the future due to fear of emotional or physical intimacy, and may experience difficulty trusting others.

Psychological Disorders such as Depression and Anxiety
The child may display symptoms of severe depression, such as persistent sadness or loss of interest in favorite activities, along with continuous anxiety and disturbing nightmares.

Sexual Identity Issues
Children who have experienced sexual abuse may struggle to understand their sexual identity. They may begin exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviors for their age or feel confused about their bodies.

Physical Effects:

Physical Injuries
The child may suffer physical injuries due to sexual abuse, such as bruises or tears in sensitive areas of the body.

Long-Term Health Complications
Some children may face long-term health problems as a result of sexual abuse, such as infections or issues with the reproductive system.

Behavioral Effects:

Aggressive Behavior or Social Withdrawal
The child may exhibit aggressive behaviors towards others or may socially withdraw, which is a natural reaction to protect themselves from the psychological or physical pain.

Changes in Academic Performance
The child's academic performance may decline due to the distraction of their thoughts and negative emotions caused by the abuse.

Effects on Future Life:

Substance Abuse (Drugs and Alcohol)
Some children may turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to escape the psychological pain caused by the abuse.

Overindulgence in Sexual Behavior or Fear of It
The child may develop an unhealthy relationship with sex in the future, either by overindulging in sexual activity or by becoming completely afraid of it, which can affect their emotional and marital life later on.

Impact on Family and Society:

Tearing Apart Family Relationships
Sexual abuse within the family leads to a breakdown in familial relationships. The family may experience denial and psychological pressure due to the shock, which can lead to family disintegration and affect other children in the family. Relationships become confused, and family tensions increase due to the sudden loss of trust.
Social Stigma
A child who has been sexually abused, especially by a relative, may face social stigma. The community may doubt the child's story due to their position within the family or the perpetrator's position, which increases the child’s feelings of isolation and rejection.

How to React to the Effects of Sexual Abuse on Children:

Psychological Support and Treatment:
- Specialized Psychological Therapy:
  Sexual abuse leaves long-term psychological scars on the child, so specialized psychological therapy is the best way to cope with these effects. Therapy with mental health professionals helps the child process the trauma caused by the abuse.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
  CBT is one of the most effective treatments for children who have been sexually abused. This therapy helps the child change negative thoughts and emotions, reducing the effects of depression, anxiety, and guilt.
- Ongoing Psychological Support:
  It is crucial that the child receives continuous psychological follow-up during the treatment period. Sexual abuse requires a long time to heal, and continuous support helps the child overcome challenges that may arise after treatment.
Dealing with Physical Pain:
- Medical Treatment:
  In some cases, the child may suffer physical injuries as a result of the abuse. Immediate medical care should be provided, especially in cases requiring urgent treatment such as injuries or infection prevention.
- Regular Medical Checkups:
  It is important for the child to receive regular medical checkups to ensure no long-term health complications, such as reproductive system problems or the physical effects of abuse.
Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment:
- Ensuring Personal Safety:
  The child should live in a completely safe environment, away from the abuser or anyone who could pose a threat. The child should feel protected and respected at all times.
- Open Communication:
  Open communication between the child and parents or close individuals is essential for psychological support. The child must feel they can express their feelings without fear of belittling or dismissal.
- Participation in Supportive Activities:
  Recreational or sports activities help children express their feelings indirectly, which boosts their self-esteem and helps them deal with their emotions in a healthy way.
Addressing Social and Environmental Effects:
- Awareness and Community Confrontation:
  A child who has been sexually abused by a relative may face social stigma, such as negative comments or attempts to justify the act. It is important to surround the child with supportive individuals who strengthen their confidence and protect them from any kind of discrimination or ridicule.
- Legal Protection:
  If the sexual abuse was perpetrated by a relative, legal intervention is necessary to ensure the child's protection. Reports should be made to the relevant authorities such as the police or child protection organizations.
- Handling Family Dynamics:
  It is important to handle family members who may feel ashamed or guilty about the incident. Some may need psychological therapy to understand how to cope with the situation in a healthy and supportive way for the child.
Rebuilding Trust and Coping with Negative Emotions:
- Rebuilding Self-Confidence:
  The child who has been sexually abused needs long-term support to rebuild their self-confidence. Treatment should focus on empowering the child to make their own decisions and regain respect for their personal boundaries.
- Teaching the Child Personal Boundaries:
  It is important for the child to learn how to set personal boundaries and understand that they have the right to say “no” when they feel uncomfortable.
- Empowering the Child to Express Their Feelings:
  The child should be encouraged to express their feelings in a healthy way. Whether the child feels anger, sadness, fear, or even guilt, they need to know they are not alone in their emotions and can manage them positively.
Prevention and Community Awareness:
- Family and Community Awareness:
  Continuous awareness campaigns are necessary to educate the community about how to protect children from sexual abuse. Children should be educated on how to protect themselves and trained to report any incidents of abuse.
- Dealing with Perpetrators:
  The abuser, whether a relative or not, should be dealt with through legal action or psychological treatment if necessary to prevent reoccurrence of such behavior in the future.

Challenges Faced by the Mother of a Sexually Abused Child:

The mother of a sexually abused child faces many complex psychological, social, and legal challenges. In addition to the pain caused by the abuse of her child, the mother finds herself under additional pressure regarding how to support her child and handle the situation within the family and society. Here are some of the major challenges she may face:

Psychological and Emotional Trauma:
- Feelings of Guilt and Failure:
  One of the biggest challenges is the mother’s sense of guilt, as she may feel she failed to protect her child. It can be difficult for her to accept that she didn’t discover the abuse or couldn't prevent the abuser, especially if the perpetrator is a family member. These feelings of sadness and anger can be very painful.
- Deep Emotional Shock:
  Sexual abuse of her child by a close family member can be a huge shock, as the trauma is not only caused by the abuse itself but also by the betrayal from someone who was supposed to be a source of safety. This type of shock requires a long time to process.
- Feeling of Helplessness:
  The mother may feel helpless in the face of what her child is going through, especially if social or legal circumstances are complicated. She may feel she is unable to protect her child or provide a safe environment.
Difficulty in Supporting the Child Psychologically:
- Managing the Child's Emotions and Psychological Needs:
  The child needs specific psychological support after the abuse, and this responsibility often falls on the mother. She may find it difficult to manage the child's emotions or help them express their experience, and may not know the right way to support them in overcoming the psychological pain caused by the abuse.
- Fear for the Child's Mental Health in the Future:
  The mother may worry that the abuse will affect her child's mental health in the long term, potentially leading to anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Social Challenges:
- Social Stigma:
  In some societies, the mother may face social stigma due to her child’s abuse, especially if the perpetrator is a family member. This can lead to feelings of isolation and rejection and make it more difficult for her to seek help.
- Rejection by Family or Relatives:
  If the abuser is a family member, the mother may face opposition from other relatives who may deny the incident or defend the abuser. This can deepen her feelings of betrayal and confusion.
- Perceptions of the Community Toward the Child:
  The mother may struggle to protect her child from the negative perceptions of the community, where children who have been abused might be treated differently by their peers at school or in society.
Legal Challenges:
- Pressure to Report the Incident:
  It can be difficult for the mother to decide whether to report the abuse, especially if the abuser is a family member. This decision can be very complicated, particularly if there is fear about the psychological impact on the child or the potential destruction of family bonds.
- Challenging Legal Process:
  If the mother chooses to report the abuse, she may face a complicated legal process involving investigations and trials. The legal process can be very taxing, especially as the mother may feel torn between supporting her child fully and facing legal challenges.
- Challenges in Supporting the Child During Legal Proceedings:
  In some cases, the legal process may require the mother to encourage her child to cooperate with investigations, which can place her in a difficult position between protecting her child's emotions and cooperating with authorities.
Financial Challenges:
- Medical and Psychological Costs:
  Many mothers face difficulties in covering the medical and psychological costs of treating their child, such as therapy or counseling sessions. These expenses can be a significant financial burden, especially if the family is already in a difficult economic situation.
- Impact on Work and Daily Responsibilities:
  The mother may find it difficult to balance work and caring for her child. In some cases, she may have to take time off work or reduce her hours to ensure a safe and stable environment for her child.
Challenges in Rebuilding Life:
- Rebuilding Trust Between Mother and Child:
  The mother may feel she has lost trust in her ability to protect her child, while the child may feel betrayed. It is important for the mother to make efforts to rebuild trust between them and ensure emotional safety for the child during the healing process.
- Dealing with Her Own Emotions:
  The mother may need to cope with feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion. She may need her own psychological support to process these traumas. The conflicting emotions, such as anger toward the abuser and love and concern for her child, can make it difficult to handle the situation.