The Art of Dealing with Moody Personalities in Friendship

In every friendship, there are moments of happiness and fun, but when your friend is moody, every day can feel like a new adventure! Sometimes she’s in the highest of spirits, and at other times, she’s sad or anxious for no clear reason. Dealing with a moody personality can be confusing and not always easy. But true friendship is worth the effort to understand and support each other. In this article from Daili Medical, we will help you discover the best ways to deal with your moody friend through empathy and communication, so you can maintain a strong and enjoyable relationship.

Reasons for a Moody Friend

A friend who exhibits mood swings may have several different reasons behind this trait, and these reasons may not always be immediately obvious. Let's explore some of the factors that might cause her to behave this way:

Going Through a Tough Time:
Moodiness may not necessarily be an inherent trait of the friend, but rather a result of her going through difficult periods that affect her mood, and in turn, her interactions with friends. For example, stress from exams or studies, the loss of a loved one, or many other reasons can lead to mood changes.

Narcissistic Traits:
Sometimes, mood swings arise from narcissistic traits or personality disorders. Traits like selfishness, excessive self-centeredness, or a constant need for praise and recognition can contribute to mood changes. If she gets what she wants from her friend, her mood is good and happy. However, if she faces rejection or a lack of flattery, her reactions and mood can shift dramatically.

Upbringing and Environment:
At times, upbringing plays a role in mood swings, as the person may not have learned how to properly manage her emotions and psychological state. This can lead to hypersensitivity that reflects in her mood. Certain upbringing conditions can contribute to the development of a moody personality.

Fake Friendship:
In some cases, the friend may not be inherently moody, but the friendship itself may be insincere or based solely on personal gain. In such cases, the relationship between you two may not be genuine, but just a means to pass the time or achieve personal goals. When there are no interests or when she gets busy with other things, she may behave in a moody way.

Emotional Disturbances:
Girls often experience a lot of emotional turmoil, and it's not easy for them to suppress the feelings arising from these disturbances, such as the loss of a romantic relationship or family issues. At times, a girl may ignore these circumstances, and her mood may be fine. However, at other times, her emotions might explode, and she may lose control, which affects her mood.

Hormonal Changes:
Girls, especially during adolescence, menstruation, or if there is a hormonal imbalance, may go through hormonal changes that significantly impact their mood. This is a common cause of mood swings in girls.

Addiction:
Addiction to alcohol or certain drugs may lead to severe mood swings in a friend. Her emotions can shift from irritability and emotional instability before using substances to calmness or indifference afterward.

Traits of a Moody Friend (Emotionally Unstable)

Fluctuating Desires:
One of the most prominent traits of a moody friend is the inability to understand her actual desires. She might express a desire to go for an outing or visit a specific place, and when an agreement is made and a time is set, her desire suddenly changes. She may justify this by saying she’s not in the mood to go out or that she prefers another place. As a result, her desires often appear unstable and unpredictable.

Fluctuating Emotions:
Similar to fluctuating desires, a moody friend often experiences changes in her emotions. At times, she may appear happy and in a good mood, but suddenly she may shift to feeling anxious or upset, which can be disturbing for those around her.

Taking Unclear Stances:
Due to her mood swings, emotions, and desires, the moody friend is often highly sensitive to any word or normal situation. This can lead her to take stances that seem unjustified, at inappropriate times, and for trivial reasons.

Exaggerating Issues:
A moody friend tends to overreact in her responses. She may handle a certain situation or comment calmly at one time, but later, her reactions to the same situation may be overblown. She might misinterpret meanings and read into her friends' behavior in an illogical way.

Creating Problems:
Moody friends are often emotional and dramatic in their interactions with others. They frequently look for problems without any real cause, and this behavior provides them with a sense of relief, as it fulfills their desire for conflict and creates dramatic situations.

Frequent Mistakes and Apologies:
A moody friend often makes mistakes due to the impact of her mood swings. She might say hurtful words or act inappropriately because of her impulsive reactions in a particular mood. However, she is also quick to apologize and express regret, as she doesn't intend to hurt anyone but is a victim of her own spontaneous actions resulting from her emotional instability.

Types of a Moody Friend (Emotionally Unstable)

The Highly Sensitive Friend:
Traits:
This friend is always on high alert for anything that could hurt her feelings. Even a casual comment might be taken very personally, leaving her feeling sad or upset.

How to Handle Her:
She requires careful handling, and it's important to show constant concern for her emotions. We must be mindful of the words we choose and avoid any actions that might hurt her.

The Mood Swings Friend Due to Stress:
Traits:
This friend often experiences internal pressure and stress. When she's stressed, her negative emotions may manifest as anger or frustration. Her mood can suddenly shift over even small situations that add to her stress.

How to Handle Her:
We need to be supportive and provide a calm, comfortable environment. It's crucial to be mindful of her feelings and avoid adding more pressure.

The Mood Swings Friend Due to External Factors:
Traits:
This type of friend is deeply affected by what's happening around her. If her work or personal life is unstable, her mood will fluctuate. For example, if she's facing issues at work or in her relationships, it significantly impacts her emotional state.

How to Handle Her:
We need to be aware of her surrounding circumstances and understand that the changes in her life are behind her mood swings. Emotional support and encouragement during difficult times are essential.

The Mood Swings Friend Due to Depression or Anxiety:
Traits:
This friend is often depressed or anxious about the future. Her mood swings are linked to intense negative feelings, which can arise for no clear reason.

How to Handle Her:
It's best to be supportive and provide both emotional and psychological support. If she's dealing with significant issues like depression or anxiety, helping her seek professional help can be crucial.

The Impulsive Mood Swings Friend:
Traits:
This friend has an impulsive personality, meaning she is quick to react to events and changes her emotions suddenly. She might be very excited about a particular subject but quickly loses interest in it after a short time.

How to Handle Her:
It's important to be patient and understand that her emotional shifts come from an inability to control her reactions. Helping her organize her thoughts and calm her emotions can be beneficial.

The Friend Who Swings Due to Family or Personal Problems:
Traits:
This friend often has a personal or family life full of issues, which affects her general mood. She may be happy one day and then suddenly become sad due to stress or problems with family members.

How to Handle Her:
We need to be empathetic and encourage her to talk about her issues. Her mood often improves over time when we are supportive and understanding.

The Friend Who Swings Due to Unrealistic Expectations:
Traits:
This friend tends to have high and sometimes unrealistic expectations from life. If these expectations are not met or if things don’t go as she hoped, she feels disappointed, which causes mood swings.

How to Handle Her:
We need to help her set realistic expectations and encourage her to adapt to different situations without becoming easily discouraged.

The Emotionally Unstable Friend:
Traits:
This friend frequently experiences extreme mood swings regarding people and situations. One moment, she could be incredibly happy, and the next, she could be in a state of frustration or anger.

How to Handle Her:
It’s crucial to be honest and clear in our communication with her, and we should aim to find balance in how we treat her. Openness and clarity are the best approach.

The Friend Who Is Affected by Global Events or Negative News:
Traits:
This friend is significantly impacted by world events and negative news. When she hears or watches bad news, she may remain in a state of depression or anger for an extended period.

How to Handle Her:
We can help her manage her exposure to negative news by encouraging her to follow the news in moderation. Our emotional support and understanding will help her cope with these situations.

The Self-Centered Moody Friend:
Traits:
Sometimes, this friend is overly concerned with herself and wants everything around her to be convenient and easy. If she doesn't receive enough attention or if something doesn't go her way, her mood shifts quickly.

How to Handle Her:
We must set clear boundaries with her and explain that relationships require a balance of caring for others and for oneself.

The Dramatic Friend:
Traits:
This friend tends to exaggerate everything and turns even the smallest situations into major events. Her mood shifts suddenly over simple matters, and she is always in a highly charged emotional state.

How to Handle Her:
It's important to reduce our involvement in the drama she creates and guide her to think more realistically and logically.

The Mysterious Friend:
Traits:
This friend does not clarify the reason for her mood swings. She may suddenly disappear or change without any explanation. She tends to hide her feelings, making it difficult to communicate with her.

How to Handle Her:
Patience is key when dealing with her. We should create a safe space where she can talk without feeling judged. It's essential that she feels she won’t be criticized.

The Energy-Draining Friend:
Traits:
After spending time with this friend, you may feel like your energy has been drained. She talks constantly about her problems and transfers her negative emotions onto you. Her mood swings impact your own mood as well.

How to Handle Her:
It’s important to set clear boundaries to protect your mental energy. You shouldn’t bear the burden of her emotions alone or be her sole emotional support.

The Jealous Friend:
Traits:
This friend’s mood fluctuates based on how close you are to others. If you grow close to someone else, she becomes angry or sad. When you return to focusing on her, her mood shifts back to normal.

How to Handle Her:
You need to speak openly with her and make it clear that friendship is not about possession. It’s important for her to understand that you have the right to form other relationships.

The Demanding Friend:
Traits:
This friend’s mood swings when she is unhappy with your reactions or if you don’t do what she wants. She always has high expectations from her friends, and anything less than that makes her feel upset.

How to Handle Her:
We need to help her set more realistic expectations and discuss the importance of balance in friendships.

The "My Way or the Highway" Friend:
Traits:
This friend always wants things to go according to her mood. If things don’t go her way, she becomes upset or disappointed. She rarely accepts opinions or suggestions that don't align with her own ideas.

How to Handle Her:
You need to be someone who can say "no" at the right time and not always go along with her every demand, as this could encourage her mood swings.

The Social Moody Friend:
Traits:
When she’s with a group of people, she’s incredibly happy and enthusiastic. But when she’s alone or away from gatherings, she may fall into a state of depression and mood swings.

How to Handle Her:
You need to help her find a balance between her social life and her personal life. Encouraging her to find activities that make her happy, even when she’s alone, will be helpful.

The Controlling Friend:
Traits:
She likes to be in control of the group or the relationship. When she feels like she’s lost control or that you’ve become more independent, her mood shifts, and she begins acting negatively.

How to Handle Her:
It’s essential for her to understand that friendship is based on mutual respect for personal spaces, not control or dominance.

Phases of a Moody Friend’s Mood Swings:
These phases will help you understand how her emotional state changes step by step and why dealing with her can sometimes be challenging. I will break down the phases for you, as though it were a "cycle" she goes through each time.

Phase 1: Calm and Temporary Stability
Description:
She’s in a normal or even happy mood, balanced, laughing, and talking normally.

How do you feel?
Everything feels fine, peaceful, and there are no problems.

Tip:
Enjoy this phase, but be aware that it can change at any moment, especially if she is the type who swings moods quickly.

⚡ Phase 2: Internal Tension Begins
Description:
She feels like something is bothering her, but she doesn’t express it. She may start responding briefly or her tone may change slightly.

Clear Signs:
She suddenly goes silent, sighs, responds curtly, or avoids talking.

Tip:
In this phase, it’s important to be sensitive to her signals. If there's an opportunity, gently ask her, “Are you okay?” or “Do you feel uncomfortable?” but without pressuring her.

Phase 3: Explosion or Sudden Mood Shift
Description:
This is when there’s a sharp change in her mood. She might become sad, cry, argue, or even become silent and withdraw.

Forms of Mood Swings:

• Sudden sadness for no clear reason.

• Anger over something trivial.

• Blaming herself or others.

Tip:
Don’t react immediately to her response. Give her space to calm down, and avoid trying to fix the situation during the tense moment as your words could be misinterpreted.

Phase 4: Confusion and Sometimes Regret
Description:
After calming down, she begins to blame herself or tries to explain that she was under pressure or just wasn’t in the right mood. Sometimes she feels regretful for what happened.

Phase Forms:

• “Sorry, I was stressed.”

• “I don’t know what happened to me.”

• “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

Tip:
If she apologizes, accept her apology calmly. If she doesn’t, try to open a conversation after she’s calmed down, and calmly explain your thoughts about what happened.

☀️ Phase 5: Returning to Normal (But Temporarily)
Description:
She starts to return to her normal self, laughing again, talking as if nothing had happened earlier.

How do you feel?
You may still be affected by what happened, but she may not be aware of it because she’s already out of that mood.

Tip:
Take your time in fully returning to normal. It’s not necessary to immediately start laughing and joking if you’re still affected. You can gently express that if you wish.

How to Deal with Your Moody Friend?

Understanding and Acceptance:
When your friend’s mood swings are within reasonable limits and don’t negatively affect the friendship or relationship overall, it’s best to understand and accept her moods without exaggerating things. People have different temperaments, and we can’t always change them or make them how we want. So, accepting simple situations is enough to maintain the friendship.

Don’t Take Things Personally:
A moody friend doesn’t always intend to insult or disturb her friend. She might be unable to control her emotions and reactions very well. Therefore, it’s best not to take everything she says or does personally, especially if she has a good heart and the relationship between you is strong. This is one of the key components of friendship.

Let Her Feel Her Mistake:
Sometimes, a moody friend may hurt her friend due to overreaction, anger, or sadness, and say things she doesn’t mean. In this case, it’s not advisable to just overlook the situation, but at the same time, don’t exaggerate the matter or end the friendship. You can simply treat her seriously for a while and point out what was unacceptable, while explaining that her behavior was not okay.

Avoid Constantly Giving In:
It’s good to sometimes understand and accept your friend’s mood swings, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly give in to them or bear her mood swings all the time. Doing so may bring negative feelings into the relationship, leading to discomfort. Sometimes, it’s better to set boundaries, give her feedback, and make it clear that not all of her actions are acceptable or can be tolerated.

Talk Directly:
When your friend is in a good mood and ready for a conversation, or if her behavior has caused you discomfort, you can speak to her directly and tell her that she needs to change this trait. Explain that her actions can’t be tolerated constantly. If she continues this behavior, it could end up damaging the relationship.

Reevaluate the Relationship:
If your friend’s mood swings are negatively affecting your life, you may need to reevaluate the friendship. Think about whether continuing the friendship is healthy or possible. Remember, it’s no one’s responsibility to fix others, and the goal of friendship is to bring us comfort and support in our lives, not to live in a cycle of emotional stress because of our friends. This isn’t an invitation to abandon your friend, but a call to stop toxic relationships that can’t be fixed before they start affecting your life negatively.

Tips for Dealing with a Moody Friend

Help Her Solve Personal Issues:
A friend’s moodiness and unpredictable behavior may stem from emotional or personal circumstances she’s going through. Instead of blaming, criticizing, or ending the relationship, if the friendship is genuine, it’s better to help your moody friend accept or deal with her problems appropriately. This is one of the main roles of friends.

Listen Actively:
In many situations, a moody friend might need someone trustworthy to talk to about her feelings, thoughts, and desires, helping her relieve the emotional burden that causes her mood swings. Here, the true friend’s role is to listen attentively and offer emotional and social support and advice if possible.

Set Clear Boundaries:
Sometimes, a friend’s mood swings can lead to unacceptable behavior or crossing boundaries of respect and decency. When this happens, it's important to set clear boundaries so she doesn’t think that any behavior will be tolerated calmly. It’s crucial that she knows there are limits she must not exceed, to avoid causing real problems that could lead to losing friends.

Handle Her with Calmness:
Reacting with agitation or anger only increases tension and emotional stress. Emotional reactions don’t solve problems. Therefore, you should deal with your moody friend calmly, whether you choose to tolerate her behavior, set boundaries, or even be direct with her about it. Everything should be done without reacting emotionally or creating conflicts that could negatively affect the relationship.

Encourage Her to Seek Professional Help:
If your moody friend is going through difficult periods or dealing with emotional, psychological, or social issues that cause her mood swings, and she can’t manage these problems or find a solution through friends' help, it’s better to encourage her to speak to a professional. You can advise her and encourage her to take this step to get the help she needs.

---

The Impact of Moodiness on Friendship

Difficulty Predicting Reactions:
The foundation of friendship is comfort in interaction and the ability of each person to understand the other. However, when one friend is moody in her feelings and desires, this makes it difficult to predict her actions and reactions. This affects the sense of comfort needed in a friendship, making it fail to meet one of its essential conditions.

Continuous Tension and Anxiety:
Not being able to understand or predict the other person’s emotions, desires, and actions leads to ongoing tension and anxiety. You might suggest a meeting or outing to your moody friend, only to find her rejecting it for unclear reasons. You could also do something that seems simple and harmless to you, only to be surprised by her exaggerated annoyance for unclear reasons.

Difficulty Understanding Each Other:
It’s impossible to make genuine agreements with a moody friend. She might agree to something with you when she’s in a good mood, but after a while, or after something happens, she changes her mind, even acting in ways that contradict the previous agreement. Dealing with a moody person is like dealing with someone who is irresponsible in their words and promises.

Constant Threat to the Relationship:
Frequent conflicts and problems resulting from the friend’s mood swings, as well as the tension and anxiety she causes in the relationship, can lead to the relationship feeling threatened at any moment. This creates a constant feeling of instability and insecurity in the friendship with a moody person.

Lack of Social Support:
People rely on friendships to gain social and emotional support. A friend is someone you talk to comfortably, share what makes you happy with, and help you in situations where you need support. They make you feel loved and cared for without any ulterior motive. However, this is absent in relationships with moody friends, as the relationship becomes full of tension, anxiety, and insecurity, which contradict the essence of friendship.

---

Daily Herbal Routine for Improving Mood and Mental Well-being

☕ 1. Morning Drink to Lift Your Spirits
Ingredients:

• 1 teaspoon of St. John’s Wort

• ½ teaspoon of Ginkgo Biloba

• ¼ teaspoon of fresh grated ginger

Method:
Boil the ingredients in 1½ cups of water for 5 minutes.
Strain the drink and consume it once daily in the morning after breakfast.

Benefits:
St. John’s Wort is highly effective in improving mood, but it should be avoided with any medications unless recommended by a doctor.

---

2. Evening Drink for Calm and Relaxation
Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon of chamomile

• 1 tablespoon of lavender flowers

• 1 tablespoon of basil (Tulsi)

Method:
Boil the ingredients in water for 7 minutes.
Drink it 30 minutes before sleep.

Benefits:
This drink calms the nerves, aids in restful sleep, and reduces the tension that causes mood swings.

---

3. Herbal Tea for Anxiety (Drink When Needed)
Ingredients:

• ½ teaspoon of mint

• ½ teaspoon of thyme

• ¼ teaspoon of cinnamon

• Honey for sweetness (optional)

Method:
Boil the ingredients together and drink it when you feel sudden anxiety or discomfort.

---

4. Optional Natural Supplements:

• Omega-3 (1 capsule daily after meals)

• Magnesium (especially if you suffer from insomnia or stress)

• Vitamin B Complex (supports nerves and mood)

Duration of Use:
Use herbs for at least 3 weeks. Afterward, assess your mood improvement, and you can continue or adjust your routine based on the results.

---

1. Moringa Tea
Moringa is rich in antioxidants and helps strengthen nerves and alleviate mild depression.

Method:
Use 1 teaspoon of dried moringa leaves.
Steep in 1 cup of boiling water for 10 minutes, then drink once daily.

---

2. Ashwagandha
Ashwagandha is one of the strongest herbs for stress relief, balancing hormones, and calming the nerves.

Use:
Available in capsules or powder form.
If using powder: Take ½ teaspoon daily with honey or yogurt.

---

3. Passion Flower
This helps calm the nerves, improve sleep quality, and reduce irritability.

Method:
Steep 1 teaspoon in 1 cup of boiling water for 5 minutes, then drink it before bed.

---

4. Lemon Balm
A natural relaxant that helps improve overall mood and soothes the stomach.

Method:
You can mix it with mint and chamomile to prepare a delicious and beneficial evening tea.

---

Magical Remedy for Tough Days (Anti-Bad Mood)
Ingredients:

• ¼ teaspoon of cinnamon

• ½ teaspoon of ginger

• 1 tablespoon of raw honey

• Juice of 1 lemon

• 1 cup of warm water

Method:
Mix the ingredients well and drink this concoction when you feel stressed. It gives you energy and mental relief at the same time.