Signs of a narcissistic friend how to deal with them and quick treatment methods

A friend is someone with whom we can share our joys and sorrows, and support in tough times. However, sometimes someone enters our lives who initially catches our attention with their attractive traits, but after a while, we realize they are not the person we expected. A narcissistic friend is a type of friend who is characterized by an excessive focus on themselves and a constant need for admiration and attention. This makes relationships with them filled with challenges. In this article, we will explore the main traits of a narcissistic friend, how to deal with them in a healthy way, and the most effective and quick ways to address their behaviors.

Stages of a Narcissistic Friend

A narcissistic friend goes through several stages in the relationship they share with others. These stages illustrate how their behavior changes over time. Their actions vary in each stage based on the level of narcissism and how it affects the person interacting with them. Below are the main stages a narcissistic friend may go through:

Stage 1: Attraction and Seduction At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissistic person appears highly attractive. They are charming, attention-grabbing, and capable of making others feel important and comfortable. In this stage, the narcissist seems to care about others, often pretending to be kind and friendly. They seek attention and admiration through positive, sometimes exaggerated behaviors, such as offering excessive help or showing excessive interest in others.
Stage 2: Control and Exploitation Over time, the narcissist begins to attempt to control the other person. They have a strong desire to be the center of attention, imposing their opinions and directions on others, whether in work or personal relationships. They begin to exploit the other person for their own benefit. In this stage, negative behaviors start to appear, such as:
- Controlling the other person's decisions
- Making the other person feel guilty or responsible for the narcissist's emotions
- Emotional manipulation of others
Stage 3: Belittling or Diminishing the Other In this stage, the narcissist’s sense of entitlement increases, and they begin to belittle and insult others. If they don’t receive enough appreciation, they may start criticizing or bullying the other person. This stage is particularly difficult because the toxic side of the narcissist starts to emerge. The narcissist tries to embarrass or degrade the other person to feel superior. These behaviors may include:
- Bullying the other person’s feelings or thoughts
- Treating the other person with disregard or contempt
- Trying to make the other person feel incompetent or weak
Stage 4: Neglect or Emotional Withdrawal Sometimes, the narcissist deliberately ignores the other person or treats them coldly once they have achieved what they wanted. The narcissist feels comfortable when they can weaken the other person or keep them in a state of constant anxiety regarding the relationship. In this stage, the other person may feel unimportant or unappreciated and may experience loneliness or confusion due to the narcissist's erratic behavior.
Stage 5: Accountability or Counterattack When the other person tries to blame or criticize the narcissist’s behavior, the narcissist often reacts with emotional violence or an attack. Rather than taking responsibility for their actions, they often blame others or accuse them of being the ones at fault. The narcissist may try to attack with hurtful words or shift the blame to make the other person feel guilty.
Stage 6: Abandonment or Withdrawal Sometimes, when the narcissist feels they have lost control over the other person or no longer see any benefit in the relationship, they may choose to withdraw or abandon them. At this stage, the narcissist gradually starts to pull away, leaving the other person struggling with emotional emptiness and a sense of loneliness. The narcissist, at this point, has likely achieved their goals or simply no longer finds any interest in the relationship.
Stage 7: Returning to the Attraction Stage (In Some Cases) Some narcissists, after withdrawing or abandoning, may return to the same person in what is known as the “narcissistic cycle.” At this stage, the narcissist may try to rebuild trust or regain control over the other person by using attractive behaviors again. This stage represents a “repeated cycle” that can emotionally drain the other person, as the narcissist returns to their seductive behaviors to lure them back in and then reassert control.

Traits of a Narcissistic Friend

Excessive Vanity and Self-Love:
The primary trait of a narcissistic friend is extreme arrogance and an inflated sense of self-worth. They view themselves in a way others do not, and they never hesitate to express their self-love and pride in all forms, whether through words or actions, even if it harms others. They believe they always deserve the best, and this shows in all their interactions.
Unjustified Sense of Entitlement:
The narcissistic friend feels they deserve everything they want without any logical reason. For instance, if they are with a friend at a café, they believe they deserve the menu or drink list first. If applying for a job, they think they are more deserving than others, even if they are less qualified. This exaggerated sense of entitlement leads them to demand special treatment from others and get angry if they don’t receive it.
Lack of Empathy:
One of the biggest issues in a relationship with a narcissistic friend is their inability to understand or empathize with others’ feelings. Other people’s emotions mean nothing to them, and they won’t spare time or attention to listen to you when you’re in need or want to express your feelings. They won’t be the person who encourages you to persevere or helps you through difficult times.
Seeking Relationships to Enhance Their Image:
The narcissist seeks to be the center of attention and a topic of conversation for everyone. One of the ways they enhance their image is by searching for friends they can dominate, in order to showcase their superiority. A narcissistic friend cannot continue in a relationship where the other person is superior in any way.
Excessive Selfishness:
All narcissistic traits ultimately lead to extreme selfishness, which destroys any relationship, regardless of its form. While normal selfishness involves prioritizing oneself, narcissistic selfishness has no priority other than their "self."
Untrustworthiness:
A relationship with a narcissistic person cannot be built on trust. How can you trust someone who doesn’t mind using any means to fulfill their desires, even if they are harmful? How can you trust someone who always seeks to outshine others and cannot stand the idea of you being more successful or appearing better than them? How can you trust someone who feels no guilt or remorse for their actions?

Groups Vulnerable to Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic individuals exploit the emotional vulnerability or need of others to enhance their sense of entitlement and control. As a result, certain groups are more prone to falling into these toxic relationships. Here are the key groups at risk:

People with Low Self-Esteem or Emotional Vulnerability Individuals with low self-esteem or those who struggle to set personal boundaries are more vulnerable to being exploited by narcissists. Narcissists can easily manipulate them, offering a sense of importance and uniqueness initially, which leads to an unhealthy relationship based on exploitation.
People Seeking Acceptance or Love Those who are constantly in need of acceptance or love are more susceptible to falling into the trap of narcissists. Initially, the narcissist may show great interest, but eventually, they use this need for control and dominance. People who strive to please others often find it difficult to confront the toxic behaviors of narcissists.
People Raised in Emotionally Unstable Environments Individuals who grew up in emotionally unstable environments, such as families experiencing emotional or physical abuse, are more likely to fall into relationships with narcissists. These individuals may have difficulty distinguishing between toxic and healthy relationships, as they are accustomed to emotional turbulence.
People with High Empathy Those who have a high capacity for empathy or feel their purpose is to help others are often easy targets for narcissists. Narcissists exploit this trait to get what they want, creating situations where the empathetic person feels the need to offer constant help and support.
People with Mental Health Issues or Chronic Anxiety People dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or low self-confidence are more susceptible to falling into the traps of narcissists. Sometimes, they are unable to recognize toxic behaviors or deal with them appropriately. Narcissists take advantage of these psychological states to gain support and admiration, while disregarding the other person's feelings.
People Experiencing Social Isolation Individuals who suffer from loneliness or social isolation are sometimes more vulnerable to the influence of narcissists. These people seek a sense of belonging, and narcissists exploit this weakness to draw them into toxic relationships. Narcissists often promise acceptance and belonging, only to later manipulate and use these individuals.
People with Past Narcissistic Relationships Those who have previously been in relationships with narcissists may be more likely to fall into the same trap again. They may have developed a certain familiarity with this dynamic or may not recognize the early signs of narcissistic behavior in future relationships.
People Struggling with Personal Boundaries Individuals who are unable to set clear personal boundaries, whether in romantic relationships or friendships, are more likely to encounter narcissists. Narcissists exploit this weakness in people who don’t know how to say "no," leading to continuous emotional exploitation.
People with High Career Ambitions Individuals with high career ambitions or those striving for personal and professional success are also vulnerable to narcissistic influence. Narcissists can attract these people by offering praise and admiration for their achievements, while simultaneously trying to exploit them for personal gain.

How Does a Narcissistic Friend Interact?

A narcissistic friend constantly competes: A narcissistic personality is characterized by extreme competitiveness. The narcissist doesn’t understand natural differences between people or personal achievements of their friends; instead, they always perceive them as a competition. They create unnecessary challenges with friends just because they feel threatened by their success in a certain area. This unhealthy competition drives them to hurt others to prove they are the best, even if it means putting others in worse situations.

Lack of interest in friends' feelings and problems: A narcissistic friend doesn’t show real concern for their friend’s feelings or problems. They don’t find this aspect important in the relationship, and you’ll notice they won’t delve into others’ emotions or difficulties. Instead, they quickly steer the conversation back to themselves, their desires, and interests.

Trying to diminish friends' worth: The narcissistic friend always tries to present themselves as superior, whether in academic achievements, romantic relationships, possessions, or social class. They constantly brag about their accomplishments and may even downplay their friends’ achievements and abilities to highlight their own superiority.

Constant lying: The narcissistic friend is often unreliable, justifying their lies and broken promises. This may apply to commitments, appointments, or joint projects. The problem is that they don’t feel guilty about lying or failing to keep promises, as they view it as a legitimate means to fulfill their desires and goals.

Opportunistic behavior: A narcissistic friend is inherently self-serving and driven by personal interests. They act opportunistically, always justifying it as their entitlement. They don’t hesitate to seize opportunities or claim their share of anything, even if it’s at the expense of others, because they believe they are the only ones deserving of these opportunities.

They may withdraw from the relationship at any time: A narcissistic person doesn’t give much importance to relationships. When they feel a friendship, family bond, or even romantic or marital relationship threatens their social image or self-image, they may withdraw quickly without feeling guilty. This is not always about the people around them, but sometimes, they might abandon old relationships once they achieve a new success in life, such as earning a new degree.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Friend

How can I handle my narcissistic friend? If you want to maintain a friendship with a narcissistic person, you need to have the ability to set clear boundaries and be prepared to handle the burdens of the relationship while recognizing the moment when continuing the friendship becomes harmful to you. Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissistic friend:

Try to understand their condition: It’s important to recognize that narcissistic personality disorder is not just a passing trait or an ego issue; it’s a psychological condition with diagnostic symptoms and specific treatments. Therefore, you need to understand whether you’re dealing with someone who’s simply selfish or someone who is struggling with a psychological disorder that requires support and treatment.
Set boundaries with respect: It’s crucial to set clear boundaries in your relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists tend to behave like children and will constantly test your limits. If you tolerate them crossing these boundaries, they will establish new rules that suit them, not you. Therefore, you must be firm in defining what is acceptable and what isn’t in the relationship.
Communicate clearly: Try to communicate openly with your narcissistic friend about your feelings. Avoid exaggerating emotions or romanticizing your approach, but express your discomfort with their behavior. Clearly tell them that a relationship based on such behaviors cannot continue and that it’s negatively affecting you.
Don’t neglect yourself: The narcissistic friend seeks to be the center of attention in the relationship, even if it’s at your expense or causes you emotional harm. You need to take care of yourself and maintain your own influence in the relationship, rather than being a passive follower of the narcissist. Keep your independence and make sure to prioritize your own well-being.
Don’t allow your narcissistic friend to exploit you: Narcissists are often opportunistic and exploitative, using their relationship with you to fulfill their personal goals. Don’t allow them to do so, and make it clear that this behavior is unacceptable. They must either respect the relationship and acknowledge your rights, or there will be no space for their manipulation or forgiveness.
Remember the goal of friendship: In human relationships, the goal is not to fix others or treat them for their personality disorders. The goal is to achieve mutual satisfaction, peace, and support. If the relationship with your narcissistic friend does not meet these goals but instead causes harm, there is no need to continue the relationship. You should evaluate whether the relationship contributes to your emotional and psychological well-being or not.

Ways to Treat a Narcissistic Friend

Treating a narcissistic person requires a combination of psychotherapy techniques aimed at enhancing self-awareness, along with some natural methods that can help reduce stress and improve mental health. Here are some exercises and natural methods that can be used to improve dealing with a narcissistic friend:

Self-Awareness Exercises (Mindfulness)
Exercises that enhance self-awareness help the narcissistic person understand themselves better and control their behaviors. By focusing on the present moment, a narcissist can manage their emotions and actions.

Deep Breathing Exercise
- Sit in a quiet place.
- Take a slow, deep breath through your nose, counting to three as you inhale.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth, counting to three as you exhale.
- Repeat the exercise for 5 minutes daily.
  This exercise helps the narcissist relax and reduce stress, leading to less impulsive narcissistic behavior.
Emotion Awareness Exercise
- Every day, try to be aware of your emotions and thoughts in the moment. Focus on how your thoughts influence your actions.
- Identify whether your feelings are based on entitlement or anxiety, and study these emotions rather than letting them control your behavior.

Empathy Exercises
Narcissists often lack empathy for others, so empathy exercises can help them improve this skill.

"Walking in Someone Else’s Shoes" Exercise
- Choose someone close to you and imagine yourself in their shoes. Try to feel what they feel in various situations, such as anger, happiness, or anxiety.
  This exercise helps a narcissist develop the ability to empathize with others’ feelings.
Active Listening Exercise
- When someone else speaks, focus only on listening to them without interrupting.
- Try to repeat what they said in your own words to show them you understand their feelings and thoughts. This enhances empathy and helps in better understanding others.

Setting Boundaries Exercises
Narcissists often cross others' personal boundaries, so exercises for setting boundaries help them understand the importance of respecting personal space.

"Saying No" Exercise
- Try saying "no" respectfully in different situations (for example, at work, with friends, or family). This helps build confidence in setting personal boundaries.
- Learn to refuse requests that you are not comfortable with.
Mutual Respect Exercise
- Identify what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable in your relationships with others. The more you understand your own behaviors and those of others, the better you will be able to set clear and healthy boundaries.

Herbal Remedies and Plants
Some herbs can help reduce stress and improve mood, which assists a narcissistic person in managing their emotions and behaviors better.

Lavender
Lavender is known for its ability to calm the nerves and reduce anxiety and stress. It can be used through lavender tea or essential oils.
- Usage: Add a teaspoon of dried lavender to a cup of hot water or use a few drops of lavender oil in a diffuser.
Chamomile
Chamomile helps calm the nerves and improve sleep. It can be particularly beneficial for those who suffer from constant anxiety due to their narcissistic behavior.
- Usage: Prepare chamomile tea and drink it before bed.
St. John’s Wort
This herb is known for improving mood and reducing depression. It may be helpful for narcissistic individuals who experience feelings of sadness or low self-esteem.
- Usage: Take it in the form of supplements or tea (consult your doctor before use).
Peppermint
Peppermint is beneficial for reducing stress and increasing focus. It can help a narcissistic person interact better with others.
- Usage: Make peppermint tea or use peppermint essential oil in incense.
Ginger
Ginger helps reduce stress and anxiety and boosts the immune system, which helps with mental and physical relaxation.
- Usage: Make ginger tea or add it to food.

Physical Exercise
Physical exercise is an excellent way to reduce stress and increase happiness by releasing endorphins. Additionally, exercising can help a narcissistic person focus and interact better with others.

Yoga
Yoga is one of the best ways to calm both the mind and body, reducing stress and helping the person improve their self-awareness.
Walking or Running
Walking or running daily helps relieve stress and promotes overall mental health.