The frequent use of the term “toxic masculinity” can lead to misunderstandings among some about its true meaning, which increases confusion and discomfort. Therefore, the concepts associated with “traditional” masculinity are complex, as some people find it difficult to challenge old ideas and get rid of the negative aspects of traditional masculine values. It may take some time to change the way of thinking. Before we address the topic of toxic masculinity, its causes and its impact on individuals’ behavior, we at Dalili Medical must first clearly define the concept of toxic masculinity. Were you in a relationship with him but he suddenly left you and then left you again repeatedly? Or does he treat you nicely sometimes and then show his other side the next day? Or is he the man who describes you as a “little girl” and unable to live without him? A toxic man, or one who is imbued with toxic masculinity, is simply someone who makes you feel like you need him constantly, and makes you feel like you are nothing without him. Regardless of his style, the result is the same: a toxic man controls your thinking, and sometimes paralyzes your emotions, making you the girl who seeks him by all means possible. What is toxic masculinity?

Toxic masculinity refers to a set of stereotypical behaviors that some men adopt, which focus on dominance and control, lack sensitivity and emotion, and are often characterized by aggression. These men display behaviors that hurt feelings, as they believe that they should be in control in relationships, and avoid showing any positive human emotions such as understanding, love, and affection. When they do show these emotions, it is often for self-serving purposes, or as an expression of their inner anger.

How to deal with toxic masculinity?

 

Toxic masculinity can be countered by learning how to recognize and express emotions in healthy ways. Men can strengthen their relationships with themselves and others through practices such as journaling, psychotherapy, or simply by talking openly with friends, which helps break down the barriers that toxic masculinity imposes around vulnerability.

**What reinforces toxic masculinity?**

 

An unstable family environment is considered a major factor that contributes to the reinforcement of toxic masculinity in children, as they are exposed to social norms that support violence and male dominance.

**What Causes Toxic Masculinity?**

 

Many today view the concept of masculinity and its associated gender roles as the result of a set of behaviors that are influenced by several factors, including:

- Age

- Race

- Social class

- Culture

- Gender

- Religion

Accordingly, the definition of masculinity can take many forms. What is considered masculinity in one society or even in one subculture may be rejected in another. Thus, masculinity becomes a fluid concept rather than a set of strict and specific rules.

What are the roots of traditional masculine values?

 

The roots of what is known as masculinity go back thousands of years, when strength and dominance were essential qualities that ensured a better life for people who were able to hunt and fight. This pattern continued unchanged until the 1980s and 1990s, when these exaggerated traditional masculine behaviors began to conflict with the views of contemporary society. However, while modern society has seen a shift in attitudes towards these negative behaviors, and no longer celebrates old concepts of masculinity, some groups and subcultures still suffer from the influence of these “expected standards.” In this case, masculinity can become toxic, as some men feel pressured to act according to traditional ideologies and views. If a man believes that he does not achieve these exaggerated qualities or does not conform to these narrow views, he may feel inadequate, which leads him to try to prove his masculinity by criticizing himself or exaggerating those qualities. This impulse can lead to dangerous behaviors, both for himself and for those around him. Some people use the term “toxic masculinity” to refer to all the qualities associated with masculinity, but this concept is inaccurate and can be seen as a way to devalue men in general, not just the negative qualities associated with masculinity. The truth is that masculinity itself is not toxic, but rather the qualities that are perceived as masculine can be positive and healthy when balanced. An individual can embrace these qualities and live well in society. What problems can toxic masculinity cause?

Some people consider toxic masculinity to be a threat because it hinders a person’s growth and shapes their perception of what it means to be a man. This can lead to internal conflicts within men and those around them, known as gender role conflict, which puts pressure on men who do not fit these traits.

When a child or young person sees the world through the narrow lens of these exaggerated masculine traits, they may feel that they will not be accepted unless they adhere to these standards. As such, toxic masculinity and its associated behaviors lead to a range of problems, such as:

- Bullying

- Difficulties with school discipline

- Academic challenges

- Incarceration

- Domestic violence

- Sexual assault

- Reckless behavior

- Drug abuse

- Suicide

- Trauma

- Lack of friendships or real relationships

Some theories suggest that toxic masculinity affects physical health, as it may prevent some men from seeking help for health problems or other challenges. For some, seeking help can lead to feelings of weakness or helplessness.

How does toxic masculinity affect mental health?

 

Toxic masculinity negatively impacts the mental health of men who do not adopt exaggerated masculine characteristics, but feel pressured to conform to these behaviors. The American Psychological Association notesTo the risks associated with trying to hold on to these exaggerated traits, men and boys who are forced to adhere to them often suffer from negative effects, such as:

- Depression.

- Body image issues.

- Poor social functioning.

- Drug abuse.

- Stress.

Furthermore, expressing emotions or talking openly about feelings conflicts with traditional masculine values, which increases the likelihood that men with psychological problems may not seek professional help or even talk about their struggles with friends or family.

**Signs that your partner is a toxic man!**

 

- Disrespecting your feelings in the relationship **Disrespecting your partner's feelings is one of the most prominent traits that characterize toxic men. They expect you to provide them with respect and support, while they do not provide you with anything in return. They seek to demonstrate their power and dominance in the relationship, which makes your desires, friends, and career worthless in their eyes. The idea of ​​equality is completely absent from their thinking.

- **They are the priority in everything!** They always put their needs first, and postpone fulfilling your requests until later. They make crucial decisions in your relationship, such as withdrawing or abandoning, which makes you feel dependent on them, as they are the ones who determine what you should do in this relationship.

-**He does not contribute to the housework** A toxic man tends to believe that helping you with daily housework may weaken his concept of manhood. Therefore, you will not notice him picking up the broom or helping you with your children’s education, or interfering in cooking or cleaning the house in general. He may even complain sometimes about the way you clean or express his dissatisfaction with your children’s performance in school!

-**He seeks to dominate you** A toxic man seeks to control your actions and future and professional plans, and may bully you about your appearance and weight. He monitors every step you take and wants to have complete control over your life.

- **"My wife is a general manager"** Some toxic men see themselves as the sole source of income in the family. If you make more than them, this can negatively affect their sense of dignity. They may try to convince you to give up your job to focus on family, children, and household chores, which gives them more control over you. In return, they expect you to be overly grateful for their efforts!

**- Psychological manipulation of your emotions** Toxic men have the ability to create the feeling that you owe them something. They may take what they want from you or do things that harm you, while maintaining the impression that they are doing it all for you.

**- Hidden feelings of anger** Of course, we all have moments when we feel angry, but sometimes this anger becomes unjustified. When toxic men get angry, they become aggressive and may seek to intimidate you, and it may even reach the point of using physical violence. If you are experiencing any form of violence, you should seek help immediately!

**- Not revealing his true feelings** Even if his feelings are sincere, a toxic man fears being made fun of, even if you have no intention of making fun of him. He always feels that if you make fun of his feelings, you will also belittle his feelings!

**You have two main options**: either tell him clearly and firmly that you need to consult a psychologist, or make the final decision to break up with him. Personally, I prefer the second option. Both options are certainly not easy, but why stay with someone you love when he does not wish you well? You are the only one who can make the best decision for your future. Remember that you are the only one who can change the course of your life. Try to be honest with yourself about the reasons why you want to continue with this person. Is it love? Or are you used to his presence? Or maybe you are afraid of feelings of loneliness after the breakup? Remember that you are a valuable person, so do not sacrifice your personality or yourself in order to please anyone. You are wonderful and have many good qualities, and there is nothing in you that is worth detracting from. So, never forget that! Trust me, a toxic man wants to make you think that you won’t find another partner if you break up with him, so he will try to convince you to stay with him at any cost.