A question many people ask after they start working and have a steady income: Some young people find themselves under pressure from their family: "You’re earning, so you must help!" Others feel guilty if they don't contribute, even if their own circumstances are tough. But do parents really have the right to take money from their son's or daughter's salary? And when does this become honoring them, and when does it turn into interference or control over their lives?In this article, we will answer all these questions from religious, psychological, and social perspectives… so you can understand your rights and learn how to balance pleasing God and maintaining your peace of mind.
Is it permissible for parents to take money from their children? And what are the limits of this according to Islamic law?
Many children often ask: Is it permissible for my parents to take from my salary or my money? And do I have to agree?
The answer from an Islamic perspective: Yes, it is permissible for a father to take from his child's wealth, provided that it does not cause harm to the child.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: "You and your wealth belong to your father," which indicates that a father has a right to his child's money. However, this right is conditional on the child not being harmed in any way or suffering from a lack of resources.
If the child is married or has children and financial responsibilities, the father cannot take from his wealth in a way that harms his livelihood or affects his stability. The Prophet ﷺ also said: "There should be no harm and no reciprocating harm," which emphasizes the importance of fairness when exercising this right.
Honoring parents is not limited to money alone; it extends to emotions, actions, and constant appreciation of their status. Here are the most important rights:
Honoring the parents
Honoring means treating parents with kindness in both words and actions, taking care of them especially in their old age, and ensuring their satisfaction.
Allah says: "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment..." [Al-Isra: 23].
Respect and appreciation
Speak to them politely, avoid raising your voice or arguing, and show gratitude and appreciation for their efforts and sacrifices.
Providing for them when needed
If the parents need financial assistance and the child is able, then providing for them is both a religious and ethical duty.
Praying for them
Praying for them during their lifetime and after their passing is one of the best forms of honoring them, as it is said: "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small."
Serving them in old age
Taking care of them physically and emotionally, helping them with mobility or medical needs, is one of the greatest acts that Allah loves.
Listening to them
Paying attention to their advice and benefiting from their experiences, especially in life and religious matters.
Acknowledging their favor
Always remember that your existence and success are the fruits of their hard work and sacrifices, and acknowledge this both in words and actions.
Visiting them and checking on them
Even if you are busy, make time to visit them or call them, as your attention reassures them and shows love.
Assisting them with their affairs
Whether by managing their finances, helping with errands, or supporting them during illness, these are some of their greatest rights over you.
Requesting their prayers
The prayer of a parent is one of the greatest sources of success in life, so always seek their prayers.
One of the most frequently asked questions among children is: Is it permissible for my parent to take from my money? And are there any specific conditions governing this?
Islam respects the relationship between a father and his son and sets clear rules for regulating financial matters between them. While the father holds a great position, the law establishes important conditions if he wants to take from his son's wealth. Let’s look at these conditions in a simple way.
The intention should be good, and there should be no harm
A father can take from his child's wealth if he genuinely needs it, such as to pay off a debt, get medical treatment, or cover essential living expenses. However, it is not permissible for him to take money for luxury or without a legitimate need.
It should not harm the child or deprive him of his needs
The Prophet ﷺ said: "There should be no harm and no reciprocating harm." This means that even though the father has a right, he should not use it in a way that harms his child or his family. For example, if the child is married and has responsibilities, it is not permissible for the father to take money that would make it difficult for him to meet the needs of his household.
The child should be rational and mature
If the child is an adult and capable of understanding and making decisions, then it is his right to either agree or refuse if the father wants to take from his wealth. Pressure or coercion is not permissible in Islam, and the child should give his consent freely.
The father should not take money secretly
It is not permissible for a father to take money from his child without his knowledge, even if the father says, "He is my son, and I am free to do as I wish." Islam rejects exploitation and encourages transparency and agreement between both parties.
The money should be used for something beneficial
Even if the father takes money from his child, it must be used for something beneficial, not for extravagance or unnecessary spending. For example, it is not right for the father to take money from the child and spend it on luxuries or travel for leisure.
The father should not take from the child if the child is in greater need
If the child is in a difficult financial situation or has many obligations, it is preferable for the father to refrain from taking money, and it would be better for him to help the child instead, as this would be closer to piety.
Acknowledging the child’s right to his money
Even though the father has a legitimate right to take from the child, it must be clear that the money ultimately belongs to the child, and he has full freedom to use it as he wishes unless the father needs it with the child’s consent.
This is a question many people often think about:
Is it my right to hide my salary from my parents? And do my father and mother have the right to take from my money?
The answer is not the same for everyone, and it depends on the intention, circumstances, and the relationship between children and parents. Let’s understand the topic in detail in a simple and clear way:
Intention matters
If you are hiding your salary to maintain your privacy or to manage your finances freely without interference, this is not wrong, provided you are not intending to withhold support if they need it or to act arrogantly toward them.
However, if you are hiding your salary to escape your responsibilities toward them, especially if they need your support, this is not permissible in Islam, as it is a form of disobedience.
Being dutiful doesn’t mean you have to disclose all your details
Islam requires us to be dutiful to our parents, which means respecting them, helping them, and being kind to them. However, this does not mean you must disclose how much your salary is or allow them to control it, especially if doing so will create problems or pressure on you.
If they truly need help
If your parents genuinely need your assistance and you are capable of helping, it is an act of kindness to support them. You do not have to disclose your salary, but you should be generous and help them meet their needs as much as possible.
Balance is important
Do not turn privacy into coldness, nor allow kindness to turn into excessive interference. Maintain respect for your parents, but without pressuring yourself or living in stress.
Islam honors parents and gives them a high status, but it also safeguards the rights of children, especially once they grow up, work, and have an independent income.
Does the father have the right to take from his child's wealth?
▪️ Yes, but under conditions:
The father must truly be in need.
It should not harm the child or prevent him from fulfilling his responsibilities.
The child must be able to give willingly, without any pressure.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "You and your wealth belong to your father," but scholars have interpreted this to mean in cases of need and without causing harm, not as unrestricted access to the child's wealth.
If the father is poor or ill
The child must help him as much as possible, as part of the obligatory support, especially if the father is unable to work or provide for himself.
There should be no coercion
A father cannot pressure his child to give him money. If this happens, it is considered injustice and is forbidden, even if the father is in need.
Financial independence of the child
Once the child becomes an adult, has a household, and a family, he has full rights over managing his wealth, as long as he continues to honor his parents and fulfill his duties toward them.
Salary privacy
The child does not have to disclose his salary or share all the details of how he spends his money, as long as he is fulfilling his duties and there is no neglect.
In case of marriage
If the child is married, his primary responsibility is toward his own family, but that does not prevent him from helping his parents if he is able to, as this is part of kindness and mercy.
This is a question many people ask:
Does the father have the right to take money from his child? And if so, how much can he take?
The answer in Islam is clear, but it is tied to important conditions and regulations that we must understand well in order to maintain balance between honoring our parents and protecting the rights of children.
First thing: The money belongs to the child
Islam considers money a personal right, and no one can take it from a person without their consent, even if it is the father, except in certain cases and under specific conditions.
In cases of necessity or extreme poverty
If the father is truly poor and in urgent need for food, medical treatment, or housing, he has the right to take from his child’s wealth in a reasonable manner, under the following conditions:
It should not harm the child.
It should only be the amount necessary.
The money should not be used for extravagance or unnecessary things.
This means there is no fixed percentage, but it should be only as much as needed.
If the child gives willingly
If the child voluntarily gives a part of his wealth to his father, this is considered a gift or a charity, which is commendable and encouraged in Islam.
But this must happen without any pressure, threats, or guilt.
If the child is young and not financially independent
If the child is still a minor or a young person who is not working, the father is legally responsible for supporting him with his own money, not the child’s wealth.
However, if there is money belonging to the child (like a gift or inheritance), the father cannot take from it without the child’s consent or for a necessary reason, and only with the permission of a legal guardian.
If the father is not in need.
If he takes the money to spend it in a wasteful or lazy manner.
If he takes it by force or through psychological pressure.
In these cases, it is considered religiously impermissible and an act of injustice toward the child.
Parental interference in their children’s lives after marriage can ruin the relationship between the spouses and cause many emotional and financial problems — especially when it reaches the point of taking part of their child’s salary or financially pressuring them. Here's a breakdown of the main harms caused by such interference:
Loss of independence
When parents interfere in every detail of the couple’s life, it makes the son or daughter feel incapable of making their own decisions, leading to frustration and lower self-esteem.
Tension between spouses
Constant interference can lead to ongoing arguments between the couple, especially if one partner feels the other isn't setting clear boundaries with their parents. This can threaten the stability of the home.
Ongoing psychological pressure
Feeling under constant parental supervision, or being forced to give part of your salary even when struggling, can lead to anxiety and mental stress.
Financial problems
When parents regularly take part of the married child’s salary, the couple might struggle to cover their own needs, causing financial strain within the new household.
Feeling controlled
The son or daughter may feel like their life isn’t truly their own and that they are under constant control. This can strain the parent-child relationship and reduce mutual respect.
Conflicts between families
Continuous interference may lead to issues between the husband’s and wife’s families, creating tension and long-term family disputes.
Negative impact on children
A tense household caused by constant parental interference affects the children emotionally. This can show up in their behavior, school performance, or how they interact with others.
Lack of personal decision-making
The son or daughter may feel they’re not free to make life decisions — like where to live, how to raise their kids, or even what job to take — reducing overall satisfaction in life.
Financial dependence on parents
When parents keep taking from their son’s salary, it becomes harder for him to build a future or become financially independent, which delays his progress and stability.
Generational conflict
Excessive interference creates a clash between the old generation’s thinking and the new one, leading to a gap in understanding and communication
Set Clear Boundaries
Talk to your parents respectfully and explain that you need to be independent. Let them know you love and respect them, but some matters should remain between you and your spouse.
Communicate with Your Partner
Agree together on a united way to deal with your families. Support each other when talking to them so you present a united front.
Be Respectful but Firm
Always speak with kindness and respect, but be firm and clear in expressing your needs to avoid misunderstandings or conflict.
Manage Your Budget
If your parents are truly in need, help them with a fixed monthly amount that suits your income — without putting pressure on yourself or your home.
Give in Other Ways
Strengthen your relationship with your parents through visits, care, and small thoughtful gifts — instead of making everything about money.
Seek Professional Help
If things get out of hand and you can’t find a solution, consult a family counselor to help guide you in healthy communication.
Maintain Balance
Find a healthy balance between honoring your parents and fulfilling your responsibilities to your spouse and children — each side has their rights.
Apologize if There’s a Misunderstanding
Don’t hesitate to apologize if something upset them. Clarify your intentions to maintain a warm and loving relationship