Premarital sex and its impact on the marital relationship Is it a wise decision or a future risk

"Premarital sexual relationships are considered a controversial topic that attracts the attention of many. Between personal desires and social and religious concepts, the most prominent question remains: What is the impact of engaging in sex before marriage on the future marital relationship? , we explore the psychological and physical effects that may result from such practices and how they can affect trust and harmony between spouses after marriage. Keep reading to discover the hidden dimensions that may influence your emotional future."

Reasons for Premarital Sexual Relations:

Premarital sexual relationships are sensitive issues that raise many questions and challenges among engaged couples. The reasons behind these practices vary, and here are some common reasons that may lead to premarital sexual relations during the engagement period:

Weak Religious Awareness:
When religious consciousness fades or respect for religious boundaries diminishes, some individuals may justify premarital sex under the guise of "love" or "engagement," without understanding the religious and psychological consequences of their actions.
Media Influence and Social Media:
Movies, TV shows, and some influencers on social media often portray intimate relationships as a natural part of love or as proof of commitment. These messages can negatively influence the perceptions of young people.
Long Engagement Period:
The longer the engagement lasts, the closer the couple may feel, leading them to believe they are already "tied together." This perception may open the door to crossing boundaries.
Lack of Family Supervision:
In the absence of family supervision, the couple may find themselves in intimate situations without oversight, which increases the likelihood of engaging in premarital sex.
Emotional Justification:
"We love each other" or "We're getting married soon" are just some of the justifications used by some to rationalize sexual relations. However, true love never justifies engaging in forbidden acts.
Low Self-Esteem:
Some individuals, whether girls or boys, may agree to sexual relations out of fear of losing their partner or to please them. This is due to a lack of self-worth or emotional dependence.
Partner Pressure or Emotional Blackmail:
Some individuals may be pressured by their partner to agree to intimacy through statements like "If you love me, agree" or "I want to feel that you're truly mine," leading the other person to give in to the pressure.
Misunderstanding of Relationship Boundaries in Engagement:
Many people do not realize that engagement is merely a promise to marry and not a formal marriage. Therefore, any sexual relations during this period are considered a violation of religious boundaries.
Past Experiences or Peer Influence:
Past experiences or the influence of friends who encourage sexual openness may lead some engaged couples to perceive such behavior as normal.
Ignorance of Psychological and Religious Consequences:
Many people are unaware of the consequences that may result from premarital sex, such as regret, depression, strained relationships, and diminished blessings in married life.
Lack of Parental Guidance and Proper Sexual Education:
When there is no conversation between parents and children about the boundaries of relationships during engagement, young people may not understand the dangers of these practices in their future relationships.
Frequent Private Meetings Between Engaged Couples:
Private meetings between engaged couples in closed places or a lack of supervision contribute to increased opportunities to cross boundaries, making it easier for temptation to take hold.
Weak Willpower and Succumbing to Desire:
Some individuals may struggle with strong sexual urges, and without self-control or strong religious awareness, they may give in to their desires unconsciously.
Considering Engagement as "Informal Marriage":
Some individuals believe engagement is a type of informal marriage and, therefore, accept physical interaction during this period.
Sexual Curiosity and First Experience:
Curiosity and the desire for the first sexual experience may drive some individuals to explore sexual relations without understanding the potential consequences.
Desire of One Party to Confirm the Relationship:
In some cases, both parties believe that physical intimacy is a true test of their love and commitment, which is a misconception.
Relationship Based on Emotional Dependency or Attachment:
In some cases, the motivation for engaging in sexual relations may stem from excessive emotional neediness or unhealthy attachment, leading the person to meet their emotional needs at the expense of their principles.
Pornography Addiction:
Continual exposure to pornography can change sexual perceptions and behaviors, leading some individuals to try these practices in reality.

Ruling on Premarital Sex in Islamic Law

In Islam, premarital sex is considered forbidden and is one of the major sins prohibited by the Qur'an and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Sexual relations in Islam are lawful only within the confines of marriage, and any sexual act outside this framework is considered unlawful.

Legal Evidence:

The Qur'an:
Allah says in Surah Al-Isra (verse 32):
"And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way."
This verse clearly prohibits zina (fornication) and encourages avoiding any actions that could lead to it, including premarital sexual relations.
The Hadith:
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
"A believer does not commit zina while he is a believer." (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
This hadith highlights that zina contradicts faith and is a forbidden act that Muslims must avoid.

Jurisprudential Rulings:
In all Islamic jurisprudential schools (Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i, Hanbali), premarital sex is considered zina and is punishable, whether in this world (through punishments such as flogging or stoning in some cases) or in the Hereafter if the person does not repent sincerely.

Why is Premarital Sex Forbidden in Islam?

Preserving Purity and Chastity:
Islam encourages maintaining purity and chastity as part of fundamental Islamic ethics. Marriage is the framework that ensures a regulated relationship between a man and a woman, based on mutual respect.
Protecting Society:
Marriage is considered the only legitimate path for establishing a stable and safe family. Premarital sexual relations can lead to numerous social problems, such as the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, in addition to negative psychological effects.
Women's Rights:
Islam places great emphasis on protecting the rights of women, and marriage is the means by which a woman is guaranteed protection and respect. Premarital sex may expose a woman to exploitation or harm.

Exceptions and Special Circumstances:

Repentance:
If an individual engages in premarital sex (or zina) and sincerely repents to Allah, He forgives their sin and accepts their repentance, provided they avoid further transgressions and turn to Allah with sincerity.
Coercion:
If an individual is coerced or pressured into committing such an act by another person, they are exempt from legal responsibility in this case, as Islam takes into account the coercive circumstances a person may face.

The Harmful Effects of Premarital Sex

Sexual desire is a natural instinct present in all living beings, but in humans, it is one of the most sensitive topics that vary in how it is approached depending on culture and religion. Divine laws, including Islam, regulate sexual relations within the framework of legal marriage, granting a man the right to engage in sexual relations with his wife, whom he has chosen as an official partner. However, some individuals, especially during the engagement period, make decisions to engage in premarital sex. This behavior carries many psychological, social, and health-related harms, which we will discuss in this article.

Succumbing to Sexual Desire:
Sexual desire is a natural and innate urge, but fulfilling this desire outside the confines of marriage leads to a loss of control over one's desires. The individual becomes more impulsive, seeking momentary pleasure while ignoring religious and moral values. Surrendering to these urges may lead to repeated behavior, deepening the mistake, and weakening their ability to make wise decisions in the future.
Loss of Virginity:
Premarital sex leads to the loss of a woman's virginity, which, in some cultures, is considered a sign of honor and purity. Losing virginity can cause significant social problems for a woman, such as negative perceptions from society or family. These social consequences may affect her life permanently and lead to emotional isolation.
Transmission of Sexually Transmitted Diseases:
Sexually transmitted diseases, such as HIV or hepatitis, can easily spread through premarital sexual relations. These diseases can have severe effects on health and may lead to serious complications, and sometimes even death. In legal marriage, medical tests are required before the marriage contract to ensure the health of both parties, reducing the likelihood of infection.
Unplanned Pregnancy:
Engaging in premarital sex can result in an unplanned pregnancy due to improper use of contraception or negligence. In this case, the pregnancy may cause significant social issues, such as the father refusing to take responsibility for the child, or issues related to abortion, leading to emotional and psychological problems for those involved. This may even lead to serious honor-related issues in some communities.
Loss of Trust in the Partner:
Premarital sex can lead to a loss of trust between partners. Over time, one party may regret the unlawful relationship, causing feelings of guilt and anxiety about the future relationship. The man may begin to doubt his partner, believing she may have had sexual relations with others before their commitment, leading to a loss of emotional security. The woman may feel the same way about the man.
Cancellation of Marriage Ceremonies or Divorce:
Due to conflicts arising from loss of trust or mutual suspicion, the relationship may end before it officially begins. Some premarital sexual relations can lead to separation or divorce shortly after marriage due to psychological pressure and feelings of regret. It may become difficult to continue a relationship that lacks trust and security.

The Most Dangerous Diseases That Can Be Transmitted Through Premarital Sex

Premarital sex is not only a religious violation, but it can also expose you to a range of dangerous diseases that are easily transmitted through intimate relations. Some of these diseases may not show symptoms, making them spread faster and cause significant complications without you noticing. Let’s explore the most common and dangerous sexually transmitted infections (STIs) associated with premarital sex:

Chlamydia
A serious bacterial infection that affects the genital organs and often comes without symptoms. If left untreated, it can cause infertility in women.
Gonorrhea
This infection spreads rapidly through sexual intercourse and affects the vagina, cervix, anus, or throat. If untreated, it can cause chronic inflammation and infertility.
Genital Herpes
A viral infection that causes painful sores around the genital area. There is no permanent cure, and the virus remains in the body for life.
HPV (Human Papillomavirus)
One of the most common viruses. Certain types can cause cervical cancer in women. It can spread even without full sexual intercourse or noticeable symptoms.
HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus)
HIV weakens the immune system gradually and can be fatal if untreated. It spreads through unprotected sexual intercourse.
Syphilis
A serious disease that begins with a simple sore. If left untreated, it can affect the heart, brain, and nerves and may lead to death.
Hepatitis B and C
These viruses can be transmitted through sexual contact or blood. They can cause liver cirrhosis, liver failure, and liver cancer.
Trichomoniasis
A parasitic infection that spreads through sexual intercourse. It causes severe itching, inflammation, and foul-smelling discharge.
Genital Warts
Caused by a non-cancerous strain of HPV. These are skin growths around the genital area, and they may reappear after treatment.
Pubic Lice
Small insects that live in pubic hair, causing intense itching. They spread easily through sexual contact or clothing.
Scabies
Parasites that burrow under the skin, causing severe itching. They spread rapidly through close contact.
Bacterial Vaginosis
Not an explicitly sexual disease, but it increases after unprotected sex. It causes strong-smelling discharge and itching.
CMV (Cytomegalovirus)
This virus can be transmitted through sexual activity. It’s dangerous for pregnant women as it can cause birth defects in the baby.
HTLV Virus (Human T-Cell Lymphotropic Virus)
Less well-known than HIV, this virus can cause neurological issues and certain types of cancer.
High-Risk HPV Strains
Some strains of HPV can lead to cancers such as:

Cervical cancer in women
Penile or anal cancer in men
It spreads very easily, even without full intercourse.

Mycoplasma Genitalium
A relatively new disease that can cause infertility. It is difficult to treat because it resists antibiotics.
Parasitic Vaginitis (Trichomoniasis)
The same parasite mentioned earlier. It causes itching, foul discharge, and can cause problems during pregnancy.

The Impact of Sexual Relations Between Engaged Couples Before Marriage: 15 Dangerous Effects Nobody Tells You About!

During the engagement period, the relationship is not official and lacks any guarantees. However, some people make a huge mistake by engaging in sexual relations before marriage. This mistake can leave a significant psychological, social, and religious impact, especially on the woman. Let's see what could happen when the relationship crosses boundaries during the engagement period:

Loss of Trust and Respect
After the act, both partners—especially the man—may start seeing each other differently. The man may doubt the woman or think she is "easy," which destroys the foundation of the relationship.
Feelings of Guilt and Regret
The woman often enters a state of regret and fear: "What if he leaves me?" "Why did I do this?" "What if someone finds out?" These feelings can negatively impact her self-esteem and mental health.
Obsessive Attachment
Physical intimacy strengthens emotional attachment, even if the person is not right for her. This causes the woman to insist on marriage out of fear of "losing" rather than genuine love.
Fear of Extortion or Scandal
Some young men may threaten the woman with pictures or secrets from the relationship if she tries to distance herself. This puts her under tremendous psychological pressure.
The Relationship May End Suddenly
An uncertain relationship can end at any moment, leaving the woman emotionally and physically hurt, feeling "broken."
Loss of Social Protection
Unfortunately, society does not show mercy to women, even if they are victims. They often carry the blame if the relationship is exposed.
Problems After Marriage (If They Stay Together)
Even if they get married, the relationship can be filled with doubt and jealousy, and the man may continue thinking that the woman is "easy."
Difficulty in Thinking Clearly
Physical intimacy may cloud their judgment, making it hard to distinguish between "love" and "attachment."
Feelings of Insecurity
What comes easily may also disappear easily, and these fears linger in the relationship.
Clear Religious Violation
Sexual relations before marriage are strictly forbidden religiously. This is not just a sin; it also affects the blessing of the relationship.
Emotional Pain After Separation
If the relationship fails, the woman feels she has lost something precious, and it's difficult to start a new relationship with the same trust or comfort.
Risk of Pregnancy Before Marriage
Even with precautions, pregnancy is still possible. This places the woman in a difficult situation, threatening her future and her family's reputation.
Fear of Facing the Family
This secret relationship always makes the woman feel guilty and tense, fearing her family will find out.
Loss of Passion After Marriage
Many women and men feel there is nothing new after marriage, which impacts desire and stability between the couple.
Repeating the Mistake in Other Relationships
If the couple does not learn from this experience, it may become a habit, leading them to repeat the same mistake and create a new cycle of pain.

Important Medical Tests Before Marriage for a Healthy and Safe Married Life

Before starting a new life together, it is essential to ensure that you both are in good health and fully aware of your medical condition. These tests are not optional; they are a necessity to protect both you and your partner from any health issues or diseases that could affect the relationship or fertility.

Here’s a list of important tests to take before marriage and their reasons:

Test	Purpose	Ideal Timing	Important Information
Complete Blood Count (CBC)	To check for anemia or general health issues	Well before marriage	Reveals hemoglobin levels, liver, and kidney function
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Test	To check for diseases like syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis	Right before marriage	Crucial to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted infections
HIV Test	To check for the HIV virus	Short before marriage	Essential to protect the partner from infection
Hepatitis B and C Test	To check for chronic viral infections	Before marriage	These viruses can be transmitted through sex or blood
Thalassemia and Hemophilia Tests	To check for genetic blood disorders	Well before marriage	A genetic test, especially important if there is a family relation between the couple
General Urine Test	To check for infections or issues in the kidneys or bladder	Before marriage	Simple but important, especially if there are any symptoms
Pregnancy Test (For Women)	To ensure there is no pregnancy in cases where marriage is delayed	Depending on the situation	Ensures peace of mind before making any formal commitments
Vaginal Examination (For Women)	To check for any vaginal infections or fungal conditions	Before marriage	Helps maintain a healthy sexual relationship in the future
Genital Examination (For Men)	To examine the prostate and check for infections in the genital system	Before marriage	Important if there are symptoms like burning, pain, or unusual discharge
Fertility Test (For Both)	To check for the ability to conceive	If there is a delay in pregnancy	Includes sperm analysis for men and ovarian function tests for women
Skin and Genital Skin Diseases Test	To check for any sores or skin conditions in the genital area	Before marriage	Ensures no diseases that could be transmitted through touch
Hormone Test	To check for hormonal imbalances that may affect the relationship or fertility	If there are symptoms like low libido or delayed conception	Measures testosterone and estrogen levels

Important Tips Before Getting Tests Done:

Consult Your Doctor First: Not all tests are suitable for everyone. The doctor will determine what's necessary based on your condition.
Confidentiality and Safety: Test results are highly personal. They should be done in a trusted place, and the results should remain confidential.
Psychological Preparation: Have an open conversation with your partner and understand the importance of tests. This shows maturity, not doubt or belittling.

How to Avoid Premarital Sex?

The relationship between two people during engagement should have clear boundaries to protect your dignity and avoid regrets or future problems. If you have a strong will but are afraid you might weaken at a moment, follow these tips:

Strengthen Your Faith and Principles: The first step is to be convinced that the only place for sexual relations is within marriage. Once you understand this and why, you'll be able to say no when the time comes.
Set Clear Boundaries from the Start: From day one of your engagement, you both need to agree:
- No touching or private moments.
- No inappropriate talk.
- Respect each other and maintain safe distances.
Avoid Embarrassing Situations: Don’t be alone in closed spaces or late hours. Satan is crafty, and good intentions aren’t always enough!
Focus on the Emotional Relationship, Not the Physical: Build a relationship based on communication, understanding, support, and shared interests. Sex isn’t what connects two people; the mind and heart are the foundation.
Beware of Erotic Content: Movies, images, or any stimulating content feed desire and weaken control. Protect your mind before your body.
Engage in Useful Activities: Spend your time in fun activities, volunteering, gym, reading... Always keep yourself busy with things that build you up, not break you down.
Be Clear About Your Expectations: Say from the beginning that you have no intention of having a sexual relationship before marriage. Whoever respects you will respect your decision... anyone who pressures you is not worthy of you!
Consult a Religious Scholar or Therapist: If you feel weak or can’t control your desire, seek professional help, either psychological or religious.
Don’t Let Anyone Pressure You: Friends, fiancé, anyone... If you feel pressured to do something you’re not comfortable with, say no loudly!

❤️ 10. Believe that Waiting is Better: When you get married and feel that you waited to respect yourself and your partner, you’ll be happier and enjoy the relationship without guilt or regret.

Protect Your Privacy: Sex is not just a moment… it’s a big step and a huge responsibility. Wait until you're in a formal and safe relationship that has commitment and respect.