Types of problems of half siblings and the best ways to deal with them and provide psychological treatment

The relationship between siblings is one of the strongest social bonds that shape an individual's personality and influence their life. However, when siblings come from different parents (half-siblings), additional challenges can arise that make this relationship more sensitive and complicated.Often, feelings of jealousy, discrimination, and inheritance conflicts can affect the nature of the relationship between half-siblings, leading to family problems that are difficult to contain if not handled wisely. In this medical guide, we will clearly and systematically explore the types of issues half-siblings face and provide tips on understanding the causes of conflicts and how to address them to maintain family unity and emotional well-being.

Types of Problems Among Half-Siblings

The relationship between half-siblings can be filled with challenges due to the different nature of their bonds, especially if it involves poor treatment or discrimination from the parents. Some of the most common problems that may arise between half-siblings include:

  1. Inheritance Disputes
    Inheritance is one of the most common causes of conflicts between half-siblings.
    When it comes to distributing the estate, each party may have different interpretations of their rights, and some may try to prioritize their personal interests over others.
    In such cases, referring to Islamic law and the applicable laws of the country is the fairest solution to resolve disputes.

  2. Living Together in the Same Household
    When living in the same house, problems related to privacy and personal space can arise.
    Some siblings may tolerate the behavior of their full siblings with patience, while feeling uncomfortable when the half-sibling interferes with their daily life.
    ⚡ This can cause ongoing tension if clear and respectful boundaries are not set for everyone.

  3. Jealousy and Hatred
    Feelings of jealousy and envy may creep in between siblings, especially when:

    • One parent favors a particular child.

    • One sibling receives more attention than the others.
      If these emotions are not addressed early on, they may turn into hatred, and could lead to harmful actions that threaten family unity.

  4. Negative Competition
    Among half-siblings, competition can shift from a positive drive for self-improvement to negative rivalry filled with hatred.
    This competition may manifest in:

    • Academic excellence.

    • Professional success.

    • Even in winning the affection of the parents.

    Unhealthy competition can spark conflicts instead of motivating success.

  5. Family Discrimination
    Discrimination among children is one of the most dangerous seeds for family disputes.
    When one sibling feels that one parent favors their half-sibling:

    • Feelings of injustice and resentment increase.

    • Public or hidden conflicts between siblings begin.

    Therefore, equality and fairness among children are essential in building a cohesive and loving family.


Causes of Problems Among Half-Siblings

Relationships between half-siblings are among the most likely to experience tension and conflict if not handled carefully and consciously. Several factors can deepen these conflicts, and some of the key reasons include:

  1. Mothers' Conflicts
    The mother plays one of the most influential roles in her children's lives. If a mother encourages her child to have negative feelings towards their half-siblings, this will likely happen. In some cases, wives may instill feelings of hatred and jealousy in their children towards their half-siblings, leading to a deteriorating relationship from an early age.

  2. Parental Bias
    Sometimes, one parent may show bias toward their children from the new marriage by pampering them and meeting their needs, which causes jealousy and resentment from the children from the previous marriage. This bias can destroy the relationship between half-siblings and create a negative environment that affects the children's psychological well-being.

  3. Misunderstanding
    In some families, half-siblings are viewed as rivals or competitors due to a lack of understanding about the importance of respecting the half-sibling. This is often the result of limited awareness of the religious and social values that emphasize the importance of sibling relationships, regardless of their origin.

  4. Environment and Society
    The family environment and society can play a significant role in fueling conflicts between half-siblings. Sometimes, extended family members such as uncles, aunts, and grandparents may instill feelings of rejection towards the half-sibling, making it harder for the child to accept their presence. Society may also contribute to spreading this negative view, whether toward the sibling or one of the parents.

  5. Psychological Issues
    Some children may feel rejected toward their half-siblings due to psychological factors such as divorce or the death of a parent. These psychological issues may not be adequately addressed, leading to accumulated feelings of hatred and lack of acceptance of the half-sibling. Often, the child believes that the presence of the half-sibling will negatively affect the care and attention they receive from one of the parents, which reinforces feelings of rejection.

Types of Half-Siblings

Half-siblings are those who share only one parent, either the father or the mother, but not both. Half-siblings are generally divided into two main types:

  1. Paternal Half-Siblings: These siblings share the same father but come from different mothers. Their relationship is based on the father’s side only.

    Example: If a man marries multiple women and has children from each wife, those children are called paternal half-siblings.

  2. Maternal Half-Siblings: These siblings share the same mother but have different fathers. Therefore, their relationship is based on the mother's side only.

    Example: If a woman marries multiple men (after divorce or death), and has children from each marriage, those children are called maternal half-siblings.


Ways to Cope with Half-Siblings

Living with half-siblings may require some effort and flexibility, especially if one has to live with them in the same household. To ease tensions and resolve issues between half-siblings, here are some helpful tips for improving the relationship:

  1. Respect Privacy: A half-sibling may not be comfortable with their sibling intruding on their personal space. Therefore, it's important to respect each person's privacy by not entering their room or using their belongings without permission. This will reduce tensions and give each person their personal space.

  2. Focus on Common Interests: Discussing shared hobbies or activities can create an opportunity for bonding. For example, if the other person is open to talking about sports or games, encourage them to share hobbies like playing chess or football. This will help build a common bond between the siblings.

  3. Avoid Verbal Harm: Hurtful words like "I hate you" or "I can't live with you" can damage the relationship and escalate conflicts. It's important to avoid these negative phrases and focus on constructive dialogue. Additionally, avoid blaming phrases like "Your mother took the place of mine," as children have no control over their parents' personal lives.

  4. Don’t Judge Too Quickly: It's wrong to judge a half-sibling simply because they are from a different marriage. Instead, give them the opportunity to get to know them better, bond with them, and engage in conversations. By doing so, you can build a strong relationship based on understanding and mutual respect.

  5. Take the First Step: Be the one to take the first step, especially if you are the older sibling. Treat your half-siblings with kindness and affection, and set an example by forgiving and showing empathy. By doing so, you'll be able to build a strong, trust-based relationship that will make them a support system for you in the future.


The Harmful Effects of Conflicts Between Half-Siblings

The relationship between half-siblings can be filled with challenges due to the differences in upbringing and family bonds. When conflicts arise between them, it can lead to significant psychological and social damage that affects all family members. Here are the most notable harms that may result from conflicts between half-siblings:

  1. Weakening Family Bonds: Ongoing problems between half-siblings can weaken feelings of closeness and belonging within the family. This tension may cause family members to distance themselves from one another, leading to a sense of alienation within the same household.

  2. Increased Feelings of Jealousy and Resentment: The feeling of inequality or favoritism by one of the parents towards other children can generate jealousy and resentment. These emotions increase constant tension and negatively affect relationships between siblings, impacting their mental health and their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

  3. Negative Impact on Mental Health: Living in an environment filled with tension and continuous conflicts can lead to psychological issues such as low self-esteem, depression, or even social isolation. These negative emotions leave long-term effects on the mental well-being of children and adolescents.

  4. Difficulty in Forming Successful Future Relationships: People who grew up in family environments filled with conflict, especially between siblings, may face difficulties in forming healthy relationships in the future, whether in friendships or marital relationships. Family disputes can leave a long-term impact on an individual's ability to communicate with others.

  5. Family Disintegration: In some cases, conflicts may escalate to the point where the family completely falls apart, leading to estrangement between family members or even creating hostilities that may be difficult to resolve in the future.

  6. Negative Impact on Academic Performance and Behavior: Children who live in an environment full of family issues may suffer from decreased academic performance due to stress and anxiety. They may also display aggressive or withdrawn behaviors, affecting their social and educational life.

  7. Reinforced Feelings of Loneliness: Frequent conflicts within the family make each member feel unaccepted or unappreciated. This strengthens feelings of loneliness and isolation among family members, which further disconnects them from one another.

  8. Increased Chances of Verbal and Physical Violence: When conflicts are not managed appropriately, verbal altercations may escalate into verbal or physical violence. This violence can leave deep psychological scars that are hard to overcome.

  9. Hatred of Marriage or Family Formation in the Future: Children who grew up in conflict-ridden family environments may develop a negative view of marriage and family relationships. This could lead them to avoid forming family relationships in the future for fear of repeating the same problems.

  10. Loss of Mutual Respect: Ongoing conflicts between siblings lead to the erosion of respect between them. This loss of respect hinders any opportunity for understanding or reconciliation, making the relationship more complicated in the future.

  11. Placing Excessive Burden on Children: Sometimes, children may be forced to intervene to resolve family problems or take on responsibilities beyond their years. This added burden negatively affects their childhood and psychological growth, hindering their natural development.

  12. Future Financial Problems: If there is inheritance or shared financial responsibilities among half-siblings, old disputes may escalate, leading to legal issues and significant financial problems in the future.


How Inheritance Is Divided Among Half-Siblings

The division of inheritance among half-siblings depends on several factors, such as the type of siblings (full siblings or half-siblings), and whether there are other heirs, such as the father, mother, or children. According to Islamic law, the shares are divided as follows:

  1. Share of Half-Siblings from the Mother (Maternal Half-Siblings)
    If a person passes away and has no children or parents, the maternal half-siblings inherit as follows:

    • If there is one brother or sister from the mother only, they share one-sixth (1/6) of the inheritance.

    • If there is more than one brother or sister from the mother, they share one-third (1/3) of the inheritance equally.

    Example: If a person passes away and has a brother and sister from the mother only, they share one-third equally.

  2. Share of Half-Siblings from the Father (Paternal Half-Siblings)
    Paternal half-siblings inherit only if there are no children or father. Their share depends on the presence of full siblings. If there are no full siblings, they inherit as follows:

    • If there is one brother from the father, he inherits the remainder of the estate after the shares of those with specific entitlement (such as the wife or children) are distributed.

    • If there are brothers and sisters from the father, they inherit by "ta'sib" (agnatic inheritance), where a male receives twice the share of a female.

    Example: If a person passes away and leaves two brothers and two sisters from the father, with no children or father, the inheritance is divided such that the male siblings receive twice the share of the female siblings.

  3. Important Notes on Dividing Inheritance Among Half-Siblings

    • The presence of children or a father usually excludes half-siblings from inheritance.

    • The presence of full siblings may also affect the share of half-siblings, as they may be excluded.

    • The wife or husband receives their share first before the inheritance is divided among the siblings.

    • In cases of "ta'sib," half-siblings may inherit the remainder of the estate after the shares of those with fixed entitlements are allocated.

Simplified Inheritance Division Table

Type of Siblings Condition for Inheritance Share
Siblings from Mother No father or children of the deceased 1/6 for an individual or 1/3 shared among multiple individuals
Siblings from Father No father, children, or full siblings Inherit through "ta'sib" (agnatic inheritance): the male gets double the share of the female

 

Note: Always consult a specialized judge or an accredited religious scholar to ensure the inheritance is divided according to the specific details of each case.


Punishment for Disturbing the Relationship Between Siblings in Islam

1. Islam's View on Disturbing Sibling Relationships
Islam emphasizes the importance of maintaining family ties and promotes love and understanding between family members. Causing division and hostility among siblings is considered a forbidden act that angers Allah.

Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Indeed, the believers are brothers, so make peace between your brothers and fear Allah that you may receive mercy." (Surah Al-Hujurat: 10)

Based on this, deliberately causing discord between siblings is seen as an infringement upon Allah's command, spreading fitnah and corruption.

2. Punishment for Disturbing Sibling Relationships in Islam

  1. Great Sin
    Anyone who causes hostility between siblings bears a great sin and is considered a corrupter.
    The Prophet ﷺ said:
    "He who spreads discord will not enter Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim)
    Disturbing sibling relationships is a form of spreading division and is met with punishment in both this life and the Hereafter.

  2. Deprivation of Allah's Mercy
    Those who sever family ties or cause discord between siblings expose themselves to deprivation of Allah's mercy and forgiveness.
    The Prophet ﷺ said:
    "He who severs ties of kinship will not enter Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim)
    Disturbing sibling relationships is viewed as severing family ties, which may not be visible to others but results in divine anger.

  3. The Supplication of the Oppressed
    If one sibling is wronged by another and a rift occurs, the oppressed sibling may pray against the one causing the division. The supplication of the oppressed is always answered by Allah.
    The Prophet ﷺ said:
    "Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah." (Bukhari)

  4. Worldly Consequences
    The person who disturbs sibling relationships may face worldly punishment before the Afterlife, including hardships in their life, tightness in their chest, and loss of blessings in wealth and life.
    These worldly challenges serve as a warning before the final punishment in the Hereafter.


How Parents Should Deal with Half-Siblings

Raising half-siblings with love and understanding is a challenging task that falls on both parents. However, with the right guidance, parents can create a loving and cohesive family environment. Below are some tips to help parents achieve this goal:

  1. Equality Among Siblings
    One of the most important steps in building a cohesive family relationship is ensuring equality among all siblings, whether full or half-siblings. Parents should avoid showing favoritism and never use the distinction between children from different marriages as a tool for division. This prevents the development of feelings of resentment and jealousy.

  2. Continuous Discussion and Dialogue
    Open conversations between siblings are an effective way to strengthen family bonds. Family meetings, whether daily or weekly, help exchange opinions and clarify feelings, fostering mutual understanding and closeness.

  3. Instilling Love
    Parents should begin instilling love between their children from an early age. In cases of multiple marriages, mothers play an important role in cultivating affection between their children and their half-siblings. This promotes better understanding and respect among them.

  4. Clarifying Each Party's Role
    It is essential for children to understand the difference between the roles of their biological parents and their step-parents. The step-parent should not be seen as a replacement for the biological parent. Any confusion in this regard can lead to negative feelings toward one party or their children, which affects family relations.

  5. Using Discipline Appropriately
    In cases of conflict between half-siblings, parents can apply disciplinary measures. However, discipline should be used cautiously, aiming not only to correct behavior but also to guide them toward respecting one another and avoiding unproductive conflicts.


Solving the Problem of Sibling Separation

Disturbing sibling relationships is one of the most serious family problems, leading to resentment and hostility among family members. To address this issue, the following steps can be taken:

  1. Promoting Religious and Moral Values
    It is important to teach children the value of maintaining family ties and the importance of respecting siblings. Parents should remind them of the Prophet’s ﷺ saying:
    "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Bukhari and Muslim)
    Religious education helps protect hearts from hatred and strengthens sibling bonds.

  2. Opening Honest and Transparent Dialogue
    Parents should encourage open discussions among siblings, allowing each one to express their feelings and concerns without accusations or insults. Some disagreements might stem from simple misunderstandings that can be resolved through conversation.

  3. Involving a Wise and Neutral Person
    If the situation becomes complicated, it is important to involve a wise and neutral person from the family, such as a father, mother, or grandparent. In some cases, seeking the help of a family counselor or trusted religious leader may be beneficial to mediate and foster mutual understanding and fairness.

  4. Encouraging Cooperation and Participation
    Organizing joint activities for the siblings, such as family outings, group play, or helping each other in special occasions, fosters cooperation and a positive spirit among them.

  5. Cutting Off Sources of Conflict
    Parents must be vigilant of individuals who may try to stir discord among siblings, such as certain relatives or bad company. It is crucial to teach children to distinguish between truth and falsehood and not to believe in rumors or gossip.

  6. Seeking Help from Allah
    Sincere prayers to Allah to mend the relationship between siblings and unite their hearts on good. Parents can also seek forgiveness and pray for blessings in the family through sending peace upon the Prophet ﷺ.