How to balance marriage and friendship and maintain your relationship with your friends

"After marriage, many things in our lives change, and we have new priorities, but friendships remain an important part of our lives. Friends are the ones who stand by us in difficult times and share in our happy moments. However, over time, the types of friends and our relationships with them may change. In this article from Dally Medical, we will explore the different types of friends after marriage and how to deal with them, so we can maintain our social bonds without affecting our married life."

Types of Friends After Marriage

After marriage, the nature of your relationships with friends may change due to the shift in life priorities and new commitments. However, there will still be various types of friends who remain part of your life. Here are the types of friends you might encounter after marriage:

Close Friends (Old Friends)
These are the friends who were with you before marriage and continue to play a significant role in your life. They usually know personal details about your life and history and continue to offer support and assistance throughout different stages.

Characteristics:
- They know you well.
- They feel like a part of your married life.
- They are always ready to listen and help.
Challenges:
- They may feel neglected at times due to your focus on married life.
- You may need to set aside special time for them to avoid making them feel ignored.
New Friends After Marriage
These are friends you may have met after marriage, either through your spouse or through shared activities. They might be part of the new social circle formed after your union.

Characteristics:
- They usually get to know you through your relationship with your spouse.
- They may contribute to enhancing your new social life.
- They might have similar interests or offer new experiences.
Challenges:
- The relationship may not be as close or intimate at first.
- They may have expectations regarding your time and focus on your marital relationship.
Friends Who Appreciate Married Life
These are friends who value and respect your marital life and always seek to support your relationship. They might also have stable marriages and understand the challenges that come with married life.

Characteristics:
- They understand your need for time with your spouse.
- They offer advice and support based on their own experiences.
- They encourage maintaining a balance between your marital and social life.
Challenges:
- There are not many challenges with this type of friend, but you should ensure you don’t overly rely on their advice or personal experiences.
Friends Who Don’t Understand Your New Priorities
These are friends who might struggle to accept the changes that have happened in your life after marriage. They might feel that you’re neglecting them or that your social life has become limited due to marital commitments.

Characteristics:
- They may feel frustrated because you can’t keep promises for meetups or activities you used to do together.
- They might not understand your new schedule.
Challenges:
- You may find it difficult to meet their expectations or maintain the same level of communication as before marriage.
- It requires honesty and clarity from your side to explain your new priorities.
Friends Who Prefer Individual Social Life
These friends enjoy spending their free time alone or with others without family commitments. They might not care much about activities that require the involvement of spouses.

Characteristics:
- They prefer individual activities or those that don’t involve spouses.
- Your relationship with them might be more flexible, as they won’t be bothered if you’re busy with your spouse.
Challenges:
- At times, you may feel that they don’t understand the changes happening in your life.
- It can be hard to find time to interact with them regularly.
Friends Who Feel Jealous or Resentful
These friends may feel jealous or resentful because you’re now married and focused more on your marital life. They may display subtle signs of resentment or try to distance you from your spouse.

Characteristics:
- They may express their jealousy indirectly, such as by belittling your married life or asking frustrating questions.
- They might feel frustrated or dissatisfied with their own situation.
Challenges:
- You need to interact with this type of friend carefully.
- It’s important to handle their emotions with kindness and awareness.
Friends Who Are Limited to Shared Social Life Only
These are friends who don’t share much of your personal or marital life but only participate in joint activities involving all parties. They may be friends from work, neighbors, or other social contexts.

Characteristics:
- They join you in group social activities.
- You may not have a deep personal connection with them.
Challenges:
- The relationship may be somewhat superficial.
- It can be challenging to maintain a strong bond with them if you’re busy with married life.
Friends Who Provide Emotional Support
These friends are there for you during tough times, whether dealing with marital issues or other life challenges. They offer emotional support and encouragement.

Characteristics:
- They are always available to listen when you need to talk.
- They help you cope with marital or emotional stress.
Challenges:
- You may need to find time for them amidst your marital commitments, but the relationship remains healthier when you maintain a balance.

Reasons for Changing Friendships After Marriage

Marriage brings numerous changes that partners must adapt to, and these changes often affect friendships. Below are some reasons why relationships with friends may change after marriage:

Changing Priorities:
After marriage, both partners are forced to re-prioritize their lives. The carefree life ends, and a life that demands much more commitment begins. As a result, visits from friends may decrease due to the couple's new responsibilities, such as managing the home, taking care of children, and working long hours. Over time, only one or two close friends might remain, those who are more integrated into the family.
Increased Responsibilities:
Before marriage, the husband might not have had to worry about household shopping, but after marriage, he becomes responsible for ensuring the home is well-stocked, especially with children in the picture. Likewise, the wife, who didn’t carry many household responsibilities before marriage, must now manage various duties herself. As responsibilities grow, both partners may become so consumed with their duties that they spend little time with friends.
Boundaries Set by Marriage:
Before marriage, each partner might have had friends of the opposite sex, such as colleagues from university or work. However, after marriage, certain boundaries must be respected for the sake of the relationship. Often, friendships become limited to married friends, and these friendships tend to evolve into family-like relationships.
Time Constraints:
The demands of life after marriage are significant, as both partners work hard to provide a happy life and meet the needs of their children. This consumes most of their time, leaving little for socializing with friends. Several months might pass before one partner finds time to go out with friends, which applies to both the wife and the husband.
One Partner Not Accepting the Other’s Friends:
Sometimes, one partner may not accept certain friends of the other, possibly due to jealousy, a desire for control, or possessiveness. The reasons vary, but the outcome is the same: one partner may reduce their social interactions to avoid conflicts with their spouse.

The Importance of Friendship After Marriage

Despite the many distractions that preoccupy couples in the early stages of marriage, friendships should not be neglected. Here’s why friendship plays a crucial role in a marriage:

Enhances Open Communication:
Friendship creates a safe and comfortable space where partners can communicate openly. When couples are real friends, they feel free to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of criticism or dismissal, reducing misunderstandings.

Example: If one partner is facing a problem or concern, it will be easier to talk to their spouse as a friend without fear of judgment or being ignored.
Continuous Emotional Support:
A friend is someone you can rely on during tough times. Having friendship within marriage means that partners can provide each other with genuine emotional support during both happy and difficult moments.

Example: When one partner faces work pressure or personal issues, the other becomes their first ally and source of support.
Mutual Respect:
Friendship requires mutual respect, which is fundamental in a marriage. When partners are friends, they value each other and respect each other’s opinions and needs more.

Example: When partners are friends, they feel that the other respects their desires and needs, and there is no room for arrogance or control.
Strengthens Love and Desire to Stay Together:
Friendship in marriage doesn’t just help during tough times; it can also enhance love and the desire to stay together. When couples are friends, their love deepens and becomes more enduring.

Example: Attraction between the partners grows when both feel comfortable and secure in the relationship, treating each other as friends before partners.
Reduces Stress and Conflicts:
Having a strong friendship in marriage can minimize daily stress and disagreements. A friend understands how to handle the other's feelings during times that require patience and calm.

Example: When a disagreement arises, friendship can serve as the bridge to help resolve the issue more quickly and effectively.
Enjoying Shared Time:
Friendship makes married life more enjoyable and fun. When couples are friends, they can share activities like going out, practicing hobbies together, or even spending quiet time without getting bored or feeling trapped in routine.

Example: Couples who are friends enjoy going on adventures together or simply relaxing without needing special occasions.
Encourages Collaboration and Teamwork:
In a marriage built on friendship, partners collaborate in decision-making, face challenges together, and work toward common goals. Friendship means both partners appreciate each other’s efforts and support each other in achieving collective success.

Example: If one partner faces a big decision like buying a house or making a career move, the other becomes a trusted partner, guiding and offering well-thought-out opinions.
Better Coping with Life’s Pressures:
Marriage often brings many pressures, such as raising children, work challenges, and financial stress. A strong friendship means that couples can handle these pressures more flexibly and collaboratively.

Example: Instead of feeling isolated when facing life’s challenges, the friendship provides moral support to tackle them together.
Ability to Adapt to Changes:
Friendship helps couples adapt to changes that occur in their lives, whether physical, emotional, or related to work or social situations. Friend couples face these changes together, reducing tension and issues that might arise when adjusting to changes.

Example: If one partner experiences work stress or a major life change like moving to a new city, the friend-like spouse stands by to provide support.
Acceptance and Forgiveness:
In marriage, mistakes happen, but if there’s a foundation of friendship, accepting and forgiving mistakes becomes easier. A friend knows how to handle small errors with flexibility without allowing them to lead to separation or resentment.

Example: When a misunderstanding or small mistake occurs, it’s easier for couples to accept it and move forward if their friendship is strong, rather than letting it become a major obstacle.

Mistakes in Dealing with Friends After Marriage

Many couples make mistakes in the early stages of marriage as they need time to adjust to their new lifestyle and bear the responsibilities that come with it. Here are some of these mistakes:

Neglecting Household Responsibilities:
In the early stages, the wife may struggle to balance her household duties and socializing with friends. It takes time to get used to the level of responsibility, especially if many wives didn't learn how to manage household chores before marriage. Many girls marry without mastering cooking skills. These responsibilities can accumulate, especially alongside her job and outings with friends. As a result, she may unintentionally neglect her duties due to the routine of having friends in her life. She must organize her social time without neglecting her marital obligations.
Overdoing Women’s Gatherings:
One mistake some wives make is overindulging in women’s gatherings that they were used to before marriage. Whether it's celebrating birthdays, engagements, or just breaking the monotony, these events were a regular part of their life. However, after marriage, the wife should recognize that she can't attend all these events with the same frequency as before, as she now has bigger responsibilities and a new routine.
Staying Out Late with Friends for Long Periods:
A common mistake husbands make is staying out late with their friends for long periods, as they did before marriage. This can become irritating for the wife, especially if it's excessive, as she may feel uncomfortable being left alone at home for long periods, particularly in the early stages of marriage. This could lead to conflicts. Therefore, the husband should reduce his late nights out with friends and understand the new responsibilities he faces after marriage.
Not Keeping Secrets:
One mistake that some couples make after marriage is not keeping their secrets and sharing every issue with their friends. This is particularly sensitive in the early stages of marriage. Keeping secrets and setting boundaries to prevent friends from intervening in marital disputes is essential for building trust between the couple and strengthening the relationship.

Ways to Maintain Friendships After Marriage

Maintaining friendships after marriage can be challenging, especially when new priorities arise, such as work, children, and family care. However, maintaining friendships is essential for a healthy balance between married life and social relationships. Here are some effective ways to keep your friendships after marriage:

Set Time for Friends:
Once you're married, you may become busy with numerous responsibilities, but it's important to regularly set aside time for friends. This could be through going out together, making phone calls, or even organizing special meetups.

Tip: Set a day every week or month for getting together with friends, even if the gatherings are simple.
Include Your Spouse in Social Gatherings:
You can blend your married life with your friendships by inviting your spouse to social gatherings. This way, you maintain contact with your friends while allowing your spouse to meet them, strengthening the relationship between your spouse and friends.

Example: Invite friends along with their spouses for dinner or go for a group outing.
Respect Time Boundaries:
You might have limited time, especially after marriage, but it's crucial to respect your friends' schedules and try to keep appointments as much as possible. If you need to cancel a meetup, inform them in advance and apologize politely.

Tip: If you're married, set aside time for yourself and your friends away from marital commitments.
Be Flexible with Meetings:
Your life may be filled with commitments, but try to be flexible with your friends, especially if they want to meet or if you have a special occasion with them. You might not always be able to attend every gathering, but you can offer alternatives or connect with them in other ways.

Example: If you can’t attend a particular gathering, send a message of support or arrange a future meeting.
Provide Support When Needed:
When your friends need emotional support or advice, try to be there for them. Friendship is not just about celebrating happy moments but also about being there for each other during tough times.

Tip: Sometimes, just showing care or being there during difficult moments can strengthen the relationship.
Stay in Regular Contact:
Even if you're busy, try to stay in regular contact with your friends. You can send a text message, make a phone call, or communicate through social media. This helps keep the relationship alive.

Tip: Set aside one day each month to check in on your friends and make sure they’re doing well.
Respect Your Friends' Marital Life:
It's also important to respect your friends' married lives and give them enough space. If they're married, don't always expect to spend time with them, and try to be flexible when scheduling meetups.

Example: They may have their own family or social commitments, so respecting their time can help maintain a good relationship.
Balance Your Married and Social Life:
By setting clear priorities, you can achieve a balance between your married life and social life. Make sure that both your marriage and friendships get the attention they need, without one negatively affecting the other.

Tip: Organize your time so you can dedicate time to everyone and ensure your friends don't feel neglected.
Continue Shared Activities:
If there were activities or hobbies you shared with your friends before marriage, try to continue these after marriage. These activities help strengthen the bonds between you and your friends.

Example: If you used to exercise together or participate in volunteer work, invite your friends to join you in these activities.
Talk About Your Spouse with Friends:
It's important to maintain good communication with your friends about your married life. You can share some details about your spouse with them in a way that helps them better understand your relationship, which can strengthen the bond between all of you.

Tip: Speak positively about your spouse and share developments in your life together.

Be Flexible with Your Routine:
Adjustments may be necessary in your routine after marriage, but try to be flexible in maintaining your social relationships. This might mean rearranging dates or making small changes to accommodate your new situation.

Example: If you have children, try to plan meetups with friends that align with your family's schedule.

Acknowledge that Friendships Require Effort:
Just like a marriage requires effort and persistence, maintaining friendships after marriage requires the same. You must be willing to invest time and attention in these relationships.

Tip: Show appreciation for your friends consistently, whether through kind words or actions.

Tips for Dealing with Friends After Marriage

Dealing with friends after marriage requires balance and flexibility, as priorities shift, but married life should not negatively impact social relationships. Here are some tips for maintaining friendships after marriage:

Respect Your Married Life Privacy:
When interacting with friends after marriage, maintain clear boundaries between your marital life and social relationships. Avoid discussing personal details or marital issues excessively in front of your friends, as this could affect how your relationship is perceived.

Tip: Avoid talking about marital problems during social gatherings and reserve these topics for private discussions with your spouse.
Balance Time Between Your Spouse and Friends:
After marriage, you may dedicate a lot of time to your partner. Try to find a balance between your social life and marital life. Don't neglect spending time with friends, but also ensure your spouse doesn't feel neglected.

Tip: Set specific times for both your spouse and friends, like scheduling a monthly meetup with your friends.
Involve Your Spouse in Social Activities:
If appropriate, you can involve your spouse in social gatherings with your friends. Inviting your spouse to join social activities strengthens your marital bond and helps your friends get to know your partner.

Example: Organize group gatherings or outdoor activities with friends and their spouses.
Clarify Your Priorities to Friends:
It’s important to be open with your friends and explain that your marital commitments are now your top priority. Some friends may need to understand that you might be busy at times.

Tip: Don’t hesitate to tell your friends that you may not always be able to attend every event due to marital responsibilities.
Respect Your Friends' Time and Personal Lives:
After marriage, your friends may also have new commitments, such as family life or work. Be mindful of their time and avoid pressuring them to meet at times that might not be convenient for them.

Tip: Be flexible when arranging meetups with friends and respect their schedules and circumstances.
Keep Regular Communication:
Even if you are busy, try to stay in regular contact with your friends. Sending a text message or communicating through social media is a great way to maintain relationships.

Tip: Send short messages to check in on your friends or engage with them from time to time.
Share Successes and Challenges:
When something significant happens in your marital or personal life, such as a work achievement or a fun experience with your spouse, share it with your friends. This strengthens the relationship and makes them feel involved in your life.

Tip: Keep your friends informed about positive developments in your life but avoid overemphasizing or neglecting your marital life.
Listen and Support Them:
Just as you need support from your friends, it's essential to support them as well. If they are going through tough times or need someone to talk to, be there to listen and offer advice.

Tip: Be present for your friends during their challenging times and avoid limiting your relationship to just fun and casual moments.
Be Forgiving and Understanding:
Sometimes, you might feel frustrated or upset with a friend after marriage due to differing priorities or expectations. It's important to be forgiving and understanding to overcome these situations.

Tip: If there's a misunderstanding with friends because of your marital obligations, try to discuss it calmly and openly.
Avoid Neglecting Old Friends:
When you get married, your responsibilities may increase, and you may focus more on your married life, but don’t forget your old friends. Maintaining long-standing friendships enhances your social life and reduces stress.

Tip: Make sure to remind your old friends that you still care about your relationship with them, even after marriage.

Be Honest and Realistic:
If you have plans or interests that conflict with meeting friends, don't hesitate to be honest and explain the reasons. In the end, your friends will respect your honesty.

Tip: Saying something like "I think I’m busy during this time, but let’s set up another time soon" is a polite way to avoid awkward situations.

Be Willing to Compromise from Time to Time:
Sometimes, you may need to compromise on certain things for the sake of your friends, especially if it helps strengthen the relationship.

Tip: If a friend has a special occasion and you can’t attend initially, try to find a way to participate in some way.

Best doctors نفسية وعصبية

featured