Pathological lying its psychological causes and effective ways to treat it

Lying is a common habit among people, but sometimes it turns into a compulsive behavior that is hard to control. This is known as pathological lying. A person suffering from it lies for no clear reason, sometimes even when there is no need to. The problem is that constant lying affects relationships, self-confidence, and social life.

Fortunately, pathological lying can be treated through medication, exercises, and behavioral therapy. With some self-awareness and practice in controlling behavior, a person can learn to tell the truth and gradually break the habit.In this Daleely Medical article, we will explain in detail the best and most effective ways to treat pathological lying in a simple and practical way.

Causes of Pathological Lying

Pathological lying is a type of compulsive lying that becomes a permanent habit, even without a clear reason or personal gain. A person with pathological lying lies involuntarily and often believes their own lies. The causes of this condition vary from person to person depending on their experiences and circumstances.


1. Psychological and Emotional Causes

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A narcissist lies to enhance their image in front of others, always seeking to be the center of attention.

  • Borderline Personality Disorder: Lying is used to avoid feelings of abandonment or to gain sympathy.

  • Antisocial Personality Disorder: In this case, lying is a tool to deceive others without feeling guilt.

  • Low Self-Esteem: Some individuals lie to hide their insecurities and make themselves appear stronger or more successful.

  • Psychological Trauma: People who have experienced traumatic events may use lying as a defense mechanism to escape reality or protect themselves from emotional harm.


2. Neurological and Biological Causes

  • Brain Function Abnormalities: Studies have shown that pathological liars may have unusual activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and behavior control.

  • Mental Disorders such as Schizophrenia or Bipolar Disorder: Some conditions cause individuals to believe their own lies due to distorted perceptions of reality.

  • Addiction to Lying: Sometimes, lying becomes an addictive habit, where a person starts with a small lie and eventually finds themselves lying about everything.


3. Social and Environmental Causes

  • Strict Upbringing or Harsh Punishment: Children raised in highly strict environments may learn to lie as a survival mechanism to avoid punishment.

  • Social Pressure: In some societies, people may feel compelled to lie to meet certain expectations or avoid embarrassment.

  • Exposure to Frequent Lying: Growing up in an environment where lying is common can make a person perceive it as a normal behavior and adopt it as a habit.


4. Behavioral and Personal Habit Causes

  • Desire for Attention: Some individuals lie to become the center of attention or to appear more impressive.

  • Avoiding Responsibility: Lying can be an easy way to escape blame or avoid facing the consequences of one's actions.

  • Personal Gain: This includes fraud, gaining people's trust, or even lying just for fun and manipulation.


5. Personality Disorders and Emotional Dysregulation

Personality disorders and emotional instability are among the most common causes of pathological lying. The affected individual may use lying as a defense mechanism to create a sense of security, gain sympathy and respect, or avoid rejection and abandonment. The most notable disorders linked to pathological lying include:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Bipolar Disorder
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) and OCD
Dependent Personality Disorder (Pathological Attachment)
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Paranoid Personality Disorder (Paranoia)
Psychological and Behavioral Addictions such as Kleptomania (Compulsive Stealing)

Types of Pathological Lying

Pathological lying is not a single type but rather branches into different forms based on the reason behind the lies and how the individual incorporates them into their daily life. Understanding these types can help in addressing and managing pathological lying effectively.


1. Defensive Lying

 Description:

  • Used as a way to protect oneself from embarrassment or punishment.

  • Often stems from fear or low self-esteem.

  • Typically develops in childhood when a person learns to lie to avoid trouble.

  • May be a result of a strict upbringing that forces the individual to lie to escape consequences.

 Examples:

  • An employee arrives late to work but claims traffic was heavy, even though they simply overslept.

  • A child breaks something at home and, instead of admitting it, says they never saw it in the first place.


2. Compulsive Lying

 Description:

  • Happens involuntarily and becomes a persistent habit.

  • The person lies without any clear reason, even when there is no benefit to the lie.

  • Often linked to psychological disorders such as borderline personality disorder or anxiety disorders.

 Examples:

  • Someone claims they met a famous celebrity at a mall, despite never leaving their house.

  • A person insists they were the top of their university class, even though they barely passed.


3. Narcissistic Lying

 Description:

  • Common among individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, where they lie to elevate their status.

  • The primary goal is to appear flawless and impressive, even if it means completely altering reality.

 Examples:

  • A person falsely claims they have achieved major accomplishments in their career.

  • Someone exaggerates their social connections, insisting they personally know celebrities despite having no real association.


4. Aggressive Lying ⚔️

 Description:

  • One of the most dangerous types of lying, as it is used intentionally to harm others or destroy reputations.

  • Often driven by jealousy, resentment, or a desire for revenge.

 Examples:

  • A person spreads a false rumor about a coworker to turn the manager against them.

  • Someone falsely accuses another of theft or abuse to damage their social or professional life.


5. Social Lying

Description:

  • Very common and occurs when a person lies to improve their image or to be polite.

  • Not always meant to deceive, but it can become pathological if done excessively.

 Examples:

  • Someone tells a friend, "This food is delicious," even though they don’t like it.

  • A person exaggerates a personal story to make it sound more exciting.


6. Imaginative Lying

 Description:

  • The individual lives in a world of fantasy, creating an alternative reality.

  • Often used as an escape from real life or as a symptom of mental disorders like schizophrenia.

 Examples:

  • A person claims to have traveled to many countries despite never having left their hometown.

  • Someone falsely asserts that they are the child of a famous celebrity with no actual connection.


7. Severe Pathological Lying (Mythomania)

Description:

  • The most extreme form of pathological lying, where the individual has no control over their lies.

  • They fully believe their own falsehoods, treating them as reality.

  • Lies are not just told to others but are deeply internalized, shaping the person's entire perception of their life.

Examples:

  • A person insists they fought in a war, despite never being a soldier.

  • Someone falsely claims to have a terminal illness to gain sympathy and attention, even though they are completely healthy.


Symptoms of Pathological Lying

Pathological lying is not just ordinary dishonesty; it is a psychological condition where a person lies repeatedly and involuntarily, even when there is no reason to do so. Unlike regular lying, which is often motivated by personal gain or avoiding trouble, pathological lying becomes an integral part of the person's personality. The following symptoms help in identifying a person suffering from pathological lying:


1. Repeated Lying Without a Clear Reason

 The individual lies constantly, even in situations where lying is unnecessary.
Lies can range from small details to major fabrications, regardless of the consequences.
 There is no clear goal behind the lies—they do not lie to escape trouble or gain something specific.


2. Believing Their Own Lies and Living Them

 In some cases, the pathological liar believes their own lies as if they were real.
 They behave as though the fabricated events truly happened and may even show emotional reactions to them.
 When confronted with their lies, they may strongly defend them or change the story to make it appear more truthful.


3. Manipulating Emotions to Gain Attention

 They use lying as a tool to gain attention from others.
 They may pretend to be sick or claim to have gone through traumatic experiences just to receive sympathy.
 Being the center of attention is important to them, and if they lose it, they invent new stories to regain it.


4. Lack of Guilt or Remorse

 They do not feel guilty about lying, even if it hurts others.
 They may cause emotional or psychological harm to people around them without acknowledging their wrongdoing.
 In some cases, they may even enjoy deceiving others.


5. Changing Story Details Every Time They Retell It

 Due to excessive lying, it is hard for them to keep track of the details of their lies.
 When asked about the same story at a different time, they may tell a completely different version.
Inconsistencies in their stories become evident when people start paying attention to details.


6. Quick Fabrication of Lies and Spontaneous Responses

 They have a natural ability to invent new stories on the spot.
 Even when caught in a lie, they quickly manipulate facts to create a new version of the story.
 Their immediate reflex is to avoid confrontation by crafting more lies.


7. Inability to Admit Lying, Even When Exposed

 Even when presented with solid proof, they stick to their lie or create another one to cover it up.
 They struggle to acknowledge that they are lying.
 If they are forced to confess, they usually try to justify their actions in any way possible.


8. Lying in All Aspects of Life

 They lie in personal matters, social interactions, and even at work.
 They tend to exaggerate their achievements or tell fictional stories about their lives.
 Lying is not tied to a specific situation—it has become a way of life for them.


9. Difficulty Maintaining Stable Relationships

 Over time, people lose trust in them due to their constant lying.
 They struggle in romantic relationships and friendships because of their dishonesty.
 Even if someone forgives them for lying, they inevitably repeat the behavior as an involuntary habit.

How to Deal with a Pathological Liar

Dealing with someone who has pathological lying disorder is not easy, as they lie involuntarily and sometimes even believe their own lies. However, if you have to interact with them—whether they are a friend, relative, or coworker—it is important to have a smart strategy that helps you maintain your relationship without being psychologically harmed or caught up in their lies.


1. Understand the Nature of Pathological Lying

Before judging them, you must understand that pathological lying is not just a bad habit; it is a complex psychological condition, and the person often cannot control it.
✔️ A pathological liar does not always have bad intentions.
✔️ Some lie to escape reality or to create a perfect image of themselves.
✔️ Aggressive confrontation will not help; instead, it may make them cling to their lies even more.


2. Avoid Direct and Aggressive Confrontation

 Do not say things like: "You're a liar!" or "I don’t believe you!" as this will put them in a defensive state and may make them lie even more.
✔️ Instead, use a calm approach such as:
"The story you told is interesting—can you explain it in more detail?" (to identify inconsistencies in their story)
"I heard a different version of this story. Can you clarify?" (to give them a chance to admit the truth without feeling embarrassed)


3. Set Clear Boundaries

A pathological liar may try to involve you in their problems or drag you into their lies, so it is best to set clear boundaries when dealing with them.
✔️ Do not share personal secrets or sensitive information with them.
✔️ Do not engage in their fabricated stories or help them cover up lies.
✔️ If they lie at work or in serious situations, make it clear that you will not support their dishonesty.


4. Do Not Enable Their Lies

Supporting their lies or ignoring them just to "keep the peace" can encourage them to continue lying.
✔️ If they start telling a false story, try to change the subject or politely withdraw from the conversation.
✔️ If they try to involve you in a lie, say something like:
"I’m not sure if this is true. Let’s check the facts first."


5. Encourage Honesty Indirectly

Pathological liars need psychological support, not constant criticism.
✔️ When you notice them telling the truth, praise them:
"I appreciate your honesty in this matter."
✔️ Help them understand that being truthful will not harm them, and reassure them that you won’t judge them for telling the truth.


6. Identify When and Why They Lie

Try to notice patterns in their lying—this can help you understand the issue better:
✔️ Do they lie when they feel stressed or scared?
✔️ Do they lie to feel important?
✔️ Do they lie to escape from a problem?
Understanding the reason behind their lying can help you deal with them more effectively.


7. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help

✔️ If their pathological lying is severely affecting their life, try to encourage them to visit a mental health professional.
✔️ You can say:
"I feel like you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately—have you thought about talking to a professional?"
"There might be an underlying reason for this lying—why not try to understand it with a therapist?"
✔️ If they are not convinced, do not force them, but try to make them realize that their lying is affecting their life and relationships.


8. Protect Yourself from Their Negative Impact

✔️ If a pathological liar is affecting you psychologically or causing problems in your life, it is best to distance yourself.
✔️ You do not have to cut ties completely, but try to limit interactions if their lies harm you.
✔️ If their lies affect your reputation or career, you must stand up for yourself and make it clear that you will not allow them to cause you harm.


Medication Treatment for Pathological Lying

There are no medications specifically designed to treat pathological lying directly. However, since pathological lying is often associated with other psychological conditions such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and anxiety disorders, doctors may prescribe medications to manage these underlying conditions, which can help reduce compulsive lying.


1. Antidepressants

If pathological lying is linked to anxiety or depression, antidepressants can be beneficial as they help improve mood and reduce the urge to lie due to psychological stress.

 Examples of medications:
Fluoxetine (Prozac) – Used to treat depression and OCD, helping with impulse control.
Sertraline (Zoloft) – Effective in reducing anxiety and depression, contributing to emotional stability.
Paroxetine (Paxil) – Suitable for treating social anxiety, which may be connected to pathological lying.


2. Antipsychotics

If pathological lying stems from personality disorders or psychotic symptoms, these medications help reduce delusions and unrealistic thoughts that may lead to compulsive lying.

 Examples of medications:
Risperidone (Risperdal) – Used for treating personality disorders and behavioral issues.
Olanzapine (Zyprexa) – Helps calm irrational thoughts and reduces impulsive behaviors.
Quetiapine (Seroquel) – Aids in reducing irritability and emotional instability.


3. Mood Stabilizers ⚖️

If lying is driven by bipolar disorder or extreme mood swings, mood stabilizers help reduce impulsivity, which can lead to compulsive lying.

 Examples of medications:
Lamotrigine (Lamictal) – Highly effective in controlling mood fluctuations.
Valproic acid (Depakote) – Helps reduce impulsive behaviors.
Lithium – One of the most powerful mood stabilizers, reducing reckless behaviors.


4. ADHD Medications

Some individuals with pathological lying struggle with impulse control, which is a common symptom of ADHD. ADHD medications can help improve self-control and reduce impulsive lying.

 Examples of medications:
Methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) – Improves focus and reduces impulsivity.
Amphetamine (Adderall) – Enhances the ability to regulate emotions and actions.
Atomoxetine (Strattera) – A non-stimulant that helps reduce impulsivity over time.


Are Medications Enough?

 Medications can help reduce the urges that lead to lying, but they are not a complete solution. They should be part of a comprehensive treatment plan that includes:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with a professional therapist.
Learning impulse control techniques, such as thinking before speaking.
Reducing stress and anxiety through relaxation exercises.
Practicing meditation and physical exercise to improve mental well-being.


Important Considerations

✔ These medications should only be taken with a doctor’s prescription and under the supervision of a psychiatrist.
✔ Some medications may cause side effects such as dizziness, insomnia, weight gain, or digestive issues.
Dosages vary depending on the individual’s condition, so regular follow-ups with a doctor are essential.

Exercises to Treat Pathological Lying

Pathological lying is often linked to stress, anxiety, poor impulse control, or psychological disorders such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Practicing specific exercises can help improve self-control, reduce anxiety, and encourage honesty.


1. Mindfulness & Meditation Exercises

✔ These exercises increase self-awareness and reduce stress, helping individuals recognize their tendency to lie and work on changing it.

 Deep Breathing Exercise:

  1. Sit in a quiet place.

  2. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds.

  3. Repeat for 5-10 minutes daily.

 Mindful Observation Exercise:

  1. Be aware of your thoughts and recognize when you feel the urge to lie.

  2. Ask yourself: "Why do I want to lie right now? Is there a real reason?"


2. Self-Control & Willpower Exercises

✔ Since pathological lying is often linked to poor impulse control, strengthening willpower can be highly beneficial.

 Urge Surfing Exercise:

  1. When you feel the urge to lie, delay it for 5 minutes.

  2. During this time, reflect on why you want to lie and try to find an honest alternative.

  3. With practice, you will gain more self-control.

 Conscious Decision Exercise:
Before speaking, pause for 3 seconds and ask yourself:
"Is what I’m about to say true?"
"Is it necessary?"
"Can I express it in a better way?"

This habit gradually reduces impulsive lying over time.


3. Therapeutic Writing Exercises ✍️

✔ Writing helps organize thoughts and increases awareness of unhealthy behaviors.

 Journaling Exercise:

  1. Every day, write about moments when you lied and why.

  2. Analyze the reasons and ask yourself: "How could I have responded truthfully instead?"

 Self-Confession Exercise:

  1. Write a letter to yourself admitting the lies you tell most often, without fear or justification.

  2. Reflect on how these lies affect you and others.


4. Stress & Anxiety Reduction Exercises

✔ Since anxiety is a major cause of lying, physical activities help in relieving stress and improving emotional well-being.

 Cardio Exercises:
Running, swimming, and cycling reduce anxiety and boost mood.
✔ Try at least 30 minutes per day.

 Strength Training:
Exercises like squats, push-ups, and weightlifting improve self-confidence and reduce stress.

 Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR):

  1. Tense and relax each muscle group from your feet to your head.

  2. This technique calms your body and mind, reducing stress that may lead to lying.


5. Social Skills & Honest Communication Exercises

✔ Sometimes, pathological lying results from weak communication skills or fear of telling the truth.

 Gradual Honesty Exercise:

  1. Start telling the truth in small situations daily.

  2. If you feel the urge to lie, try using a neutral or softened statement instead.

 Mirror Exercise:

  1. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying the truth out loud, especially about something difficult to admit.

  2. This builds self-confidence and helps you become more comfortable with honesty.


Conclusion:

Practicing these exercises daily can help reduce pathological lying by improving self-control, lowering anxiety, and enhancing communication skills.
Consistency is key to achieving lasting results.
Combining these exercises with therapy can provide the best long-term improvements.

Note:

If pathological lying is severely affecting your life or relationships, it is best to consult a therapist for proper guidance and treatment.


Suggested Exercise Schedule for Treating Pathological Lying

Day Exercises
Monday 10 minutes of meditation + 20-minute run + Journaling exercise
Tuesday 5 minutes of deep breathing + Self-control exercise + Resistance training
Wednesday 10 minutes of progressive muscle relaxation + 30 minutes of swimming or brisk walking
Thursday 5 minutes of self-awareness + Self-confession exercise + 20-minute run
Friday 10 minutes of mindful observation + Mirror exercise + 30 minutes of physical activity
Saturday 10 minutes of urge delay exercise + Social communication exercises
Sunday Rest or light physical activity + Review honesty journal

Summary of Exercise-Based Treatment

Meditation & breathing exercises → Increase self-awareness and reduce stress.
Self-control exercises → Help manage the urge to lie.
Therapeutic writing → Identify the causes of lying and work on changing them.
Physical exercises → Reduce stress and boost self-confidence.
Communication exercises → Improve the ability to express oneself honestly.

Consistency is key! Over time, these exercises will help you gain control over pathological lying and improve your relationships with yourself and others.


Behavioral Therapy for Pathological Lying

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the most effective approach for treating pathological lying because it helps individuals understand the root causes of their lying, modify thought patterns, and change negative behaviors.
The goal of behavioral therapy is to help a person control lying impulses, practice honesty, and improve social relationships.


1. Identifying the Causes of Lying (Self-Awareness)

Before treating the problem, it is crucial to understand why you lie. Common reasons include:

✔️ Avoiding problems or punishment
✔️ Seeking attention
✔️ Improving self-image
✔️ Avoiding embarrassment or feelings of weakness
✔️ Manipulating others

Self-Awareness Exercise: "Lying Journal"

Each time you lie, write down the following:

 When did I lie?
Why did I lie?
How did I feel before and after lying?
Could I have told the truth differently?

Over time, you will identify patterns in your lying, which is the first step toward change.


2. Changing Negative Thoughts (Cognitive Restructuring)

Many pathological liars have negative thoughts such as:

"If I tell the truth, people won’t like me."
"I need to appear perfect to others."
"The truth is painful; lying is easier."

Thought Reframing Exercise

Whenever a thought urges you to lie, ask yourself:

"Is this thought true?"
"Can I face this situation without lying?"
"What is the worst that could happen if I tell the truth?"

Example:
Negative Thought: "If I admit my project failed, people will laugh at me."
Reframed Thought: "People respect honesty, and failure is part of learning."


3. Self-Control & Reducing the Urge to Lie

Lying can become an automatic habit, so learning to pause and control the impulse is essential.

 5-Second Rule Exercise

Before speaking, take a deep breath for 5 seconds and ask yourself:
"Is what I'm about to say true?"

If you feel like lying, try delaying your response or finding a truthful yet less embarrassing way to respond.

 Gradual Honesty Exercise

✔ Start by telling the truth in small, low-stakes situations.
✔ Gradually, be more honest in difficult situations.
✔ Try admitting an old lie to a trusted person as a practice exercise.


4. Learning Alternative Strategies Instead of Lying

 Express Yourself Honestly but Kindly

Instead of saying:
"I’m an expert in programming." (when you're a beginner)
Say:
"I’m still learning, but I have good experience."

 Use Humor Instead of Lying

Instead of saying:
"I was top of my class." (when you weren’t)
Say:
"I was one of the top... from the bottom!" ????

 Avoid Exaggeration

When telling a story, stick to the facts instead of adding false details.


5. Group Therapy or Professional Counseling

Therapy sessions with a psychologist or support group can help change lying behavior.
✔ They provide a safe environment to admit lying and work on change without fear of judgment.
✔ Therapists may use CBT techniques to help reprogram your mind to prefer honesty over lying.


6. Rewarding Honesty & Reinforcing Positive Habits

Reward yourself when you tell the truth in a difficult situation.

Honesty Points System:

 Each time you avoid lying, you earn 1 point.
 When you reach 10 points, treat yourself to something you enjoy.

✔ Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you track your progress.


Final Thoughts:

Pathological lying is a habit that can be changed with consistent effort.
Using therapy, exercises, and self-awareness techniques, you can regain control over your impulses.
Honesty strengthens your self-image, improves relationships, and builds trust.
Start small, stay consistent, and reward your progress!