Raising children is a complex task that requires a lot of love, patience and wisdom. Of all the challenges that parents face, raising male children can be a special challenge. Some common mistakes can lead to undesirable results on the child's development and behavior. In this article from Dalili Medical, we will discuss common mistakes that parents make when raising their male children and how to avoid them.

**What are the correct steps to raise boys?**

 

**Understanding their desire to move and experiment:** It is natural for boys' activities to differ from girls', as boys seek to feel free, take off and try new things. However, it is advisable not to give them excessive trust, as while freedom is necessary, it must be within certain limits. Excessive freedom may lead to reckless behavior that may cause them harm that you can do without.

**Encouraging the father's role:** It is important to encourage your husband to play a greater role in his son's life, as the father is considered his first role model. The father must support him in all his choices and decisions, with the necessity of intervening and providing advice at appropriate times.

**Teaching your child to take responsibility:** It is necessary to give your child some tasks appropriate for his age, which helps him develop his ability to take responsibility and not depend on you for everything related to him. Start by teaching him to tidy his room on his own, then move on to helping him perform his duties independently. Although these tasks are simple, they enhance the child's sense of responsibility from an early age.

**Encouraging him to express his feelings:** You should give your child the space to express his feelings. One of the mistakes grandparents made in raising children is the belief that a boy should not cry or show his weakness. Therefore, you should teach your child how to express his sadness, while emphasizing the importance of sympathizing with others and supporting them in times of pain, and that no one should diminish his value or status.

**Enhancing self-confidence:** A boy is born with a competitive spirit and a desire to control his peers, even if it requires him to resort to incorrect behaviors to achieve his goals. Here comes your role in instilling confidence in him, as he must realize that he does not need to compete to prove his worth, but it is enough for him to feel mutual love with his friends and be ready to provide them with help when needed.

**Avoid comparing your child to girls of the same age:** Girls are often quieter, and their energy appears in a variety of activities while sitting, such as drawing, making jewelry, or coloring, as they can sit for long periods. In contrast, boys tend to be constantly moving and cannot stay in one place for more than five minutes. Therefore, it is important not to compare your child to girls, because your child's interests are completely different from theirs.

**The father's role in raising male children**

 

What are the most prominent needs that a male child requires from his father? There are many aspects that a male child needs from his father, the most prominent of which are:

- The father must respect and love the mother, as the male child should clearly see his father's respect for his mother, which reinforces the principle of respecting women.

- It is important for the boy to see his father as a normal human being who expresses his feelings, whether with joy or sadness, and faces success and failure, which helps him understand the nature of human feelings.

- The male child needs to see his father as a leader and protector of the family, who bears its responsibilities and surrounds it with love and care.

- He also looks forward to his father expressing his unconditional love to him, and being present in his upbringing and various aspects of his life, instead of burdening the mother with the burden of upbringing and responsibility alone.

The father plays a vital role in the sexual education of male children, as he is responsible for clarifying the differences between males and females, educating children about sexual harassment and abuse, in addition to providing satisfactory answers to their sexual questions, in coordination with the mother and defining roles effectively.

When your son grows up, the father should be a close friend to him during adolescence and youth, as he protects him from mistakes, enhances his self-confidence, and guides him towards what is right.

It is important to note that studies have shown that children who grow up away from their parents, or who live with parents who are ineffective in raising them, are more likely to deviate, smoke, drink alcohol, and use drugs compared to their peers.

*Common Mistakes in Raising Male Children*

 

Not expressing love to the child in words: Some believe that males do not need love, but it is necessary to show them our feelings. To raise a healthy emotional individual, whether male or female, we must provide love in various ways, such as hugging, giving gifts, and spending quality time with them, in addition to providing the help they need, and let's not forget the importance of expressing our feelings in words.

Ignoring light activities such as reading and music: Many parents tend to focus on certain games such as football or fighting games with their male children. However, males also need to participate in various activities that enhance their mental abilities and broaden their horizons.

Be careful when criticizing your son: It is natural to want to foster a strong personality for your son, so you should avoid criticizing him excessively, especially in front of others, because this may lead to him feeling shy or failing, which negatively affects his self-confidence. It is important that you play a positive and effective role in helping him build his personality, to become a self-confident person. You can boost his confidence by praising him in front of others and commending him when he accomplishes something good, in addition to other actions that raise his morale.

Avoid imposing strict restrictions and excessive monitoring: We all feel uncomfortable when we are subjected to strict monitoring or siege, and this also applies to children, especially boys. It is necessary to monitor, but within reasonable limits. This monitoring should be appropriate to the child's age; as he grows older, our trust in him should increase and our monitoring of him should decrease, with the need to be cautious during hisAdolescence.

**Corporal punishment:**Corporal punishment can cause psychological and behavioral problems in the long run. Using positive punishments and proper guidance is more effective in raising children.

**Not spending enough time with the child:** Not allocating enough time for the child can negatively affect the relationship between parents and their child. It is essential for parents to allocate quality time with their children to strengthen emotional bonds.

Avoid excessive harshness or roughness in dealing: Many mothers believe that dealing with boys should be different from dealing with girls, as they think that harshness and roughness is the best way, believing that softness and leniency will not help in raising a responsible boy in the future. This belief is incorrect, as boys also need tenderness, affection and softness in dealing to be obedient.

Do not give him excessive trust: It is important to achieve a balance between freedom and trust in dealing with your child. Excessive restriction of freedom is not good, and overconfidence may lead to negative results, especially if he is a boy, as it may push him to take wrong paths, especially if he has inappropriate friends. So, be careful and do not over-trust your little boy's actions, to avoid unwanted consequences.

**Do not restrict his freedom:** Do not think that children in general can accept restricting their freedom, due to their active nature and constant movement. Therefore, it is important to leave your child some space for freedom, with the need to guide and monitor him in a positive and non-pressuring way, so that he does not feel that he is under constant surveillance.

**Treating a male child as an adult:** One of the common mistakes in raising males is treating them as if they are adult men. Some parents burden them with responsibilities that exceed their capabilities and age, under the pretext that they are the "men of the house". This may lead to the child losing self-confidence when he is unable to bear these burdens, and it also deprives them of enjoying their childhood, which is a vital stage in their lives.

**Raising Males** Not to Participate in Housework: One of the common mistakes in raising male children is teaching them that helping with housework is considered a "shame" and that these tasks are only for females, and that females are there to serve them. The correct thing is for male children to bear part of these household responsibilities.

**Differences between the male brain and the female brain and their impact on parenting**

There are many differences between the brains of males and females, and we will review them to understand the behavior of each and how these differences affect parenting methods.

**The male brain as separate boxes:** Scientists liken the male brain from childhood to being made up of separate boxes, where each box contains a specific topic. There is a box designated for work, another for food, a third for love, and so on. When a man wants to think about a specific topic, such as food, he opens the food box and focuses on it only, which makes him forget about the rest of the things such as work and study. Consequently, he cannot think about more than one topic at the same time.

**Female brain as an interconnected network:** In contrast, the female brain is considered a coherent and interconnected network since childhood, which explains her ability to perform several tasks at once. For example, a girl can watch TV and memorize a poem at the same time with full concentration on both, while a male has difficulty doing so. Therefore, males should not be unfairly judged if you notice their inability to focus on two tasks at the same time, as this is the nature of their thinking.

**Females outperform males in motor and language skills**: We find that most girls outperform boys in the ability to speak and move. Females often start talking at a younger age than males, and they also start walking and crawling before them. Therefore, there is no need to worry if a female child starts walking before a male child, and you should not be harsh on him to force him to walk or speak, because females of his age have already done so before them.

** Males tend to focus on the big picture while females focus on the details**: This explains why boys get bored faster than girls, girls have more patience when reading a story, and their visual abilities in distinguishing shades of color are superior to boys.

** Males are superior to females in muscle strength and physical build**, with males having a greater ability in most skills that require great muscle effort. However, females have a higher tolerance for pain, so you may notice that your son suffers more than your daughter when they suffer from the same disease.

** Males also tend to excel at reading maps**, as they usually have higher spatial intelligence than females. When you go somewhere by car with your son and daughter, you will often find that your son remembers the way faster than your daughter.

Males tend to be solitary, while females often prefer to engage in groups. This is evident in the patterns of play and activities that children practice from an early age; male children prefer individual games that enhance their competitive spirit, while females tend to prefer group games. Males also often belong to smaller groups than females.